Charlotte McKinney Ruined Halloween 2015 (the death of slutty)

Acadia Einstein

My friend in the banner pic started saying she was going to be Kimmy Schmitt approximately 10 months before Halloween.  At about 1 day before Halloween, she had “a backpack”.  Doomed.  So, rather than quit, she decided to swerve and become the Target lady.  It came out perfect as you can see and I can honestly say that her costume is 100,000,000 times better than Charlotte McKinney’s costume.  So here’s to you, pal.  You should have been invited to George Clooney’s party.  Your use of a t-shirt you got at good will, some cardboard and a red marker puts you at the top of the pack!

As for Charlotte McKinney, I am not even sure what she was supposed to be.  The traditional joke is to put “slutty” in front of everything which allows hot chicks to “be” something while still looking sexy.  Heidi Klum (and omg wait til you see what she went as) has done a good job blowing that up by making her costumes crazy cool and over the top.  But sometimes I think the “not really famous” Hollywood types need to have a costume consultant.  Someone to help them be cool without having to be crazy slutty.

Oh, and this goes for guys, too.  Guys usually half ass their costumes so they can spend their time pointing out their hot girlfriend to the photographers.  Disgraceful.  It is the ONE time a year when you can be a doofus and everyone will think you are cool.  Do not waste it.  Be spot on and funny like my friend in the banner.  Or try to be like Heidi and Seal.  Well, not Seal, but you know.  A couple.

heidi and seal

That is how you Halloween

 So, first I will show you some pics from Clooney’s Halloween party, mixed with some from some lame British one.  Then I will have a separate gallery of Charlotte.  No, Charlotte.  You don’t get to be in the Halloween gallery.  You look like you dressed as “someone who had to wear what David Spade laid out for her in his scary mansion after kidnapping her”.  No good.  Unless David Spade had a gun on you the whole time, in which case call me!

Hollywood Halloween 2015!

Charlotte McKinney Halloween 2015 – she CAN do wrong.

I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in New York and Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Eight years and counting....


  1. Amander
    November 1, 2015 at 12:05 pm

    Charlotte McWhatever FFS! She should have at least put some ears on. I mean lingerie without ears is just lingerie.

    • Cider
      November 1, 2015 at 8:48 pm

      Yeah at least put bunny ears or a tail on or something. Dumb.

  2. AaronMartinelli
    November 1, 2015 at 12:38 pm

    What is this “Hallow een” you speak of?

    Is it some manner of horseless carriage or moveable type? I am not up to date on the contemporary doodads, you see.

  3. Bigscrod wants cake
    November 1, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    Jeebus, Charlotte. That is like the Hollywood equivalent of that kids last night that wore his Little League uniform.

Let us know what you think. Being on-topic is NOT required.