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Customs Declaration

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favour?”

“Of course child. What may I do for you?”

“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my Mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”

“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.”

“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.”

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

“From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”

“I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.”

Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next!”

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  1. Ken Armstrong

    Clever lads our priests. 🙂 Good ‘un.

  2. Øyvind

    Indeed. 🙂 I love priests wit’, warm and often deep humor. Like this :

    An Irish priest is transferred to New Mexico.

    Father O’Malley rose from his bed.

    It was a fine Spring day in his new New Mexico mission parish.

    He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

    He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

    He promptly called the local police station.

    The conversation went like this:

    “Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”

    “And the best of the day te yerself. This is Fadder O’Malley at St.Brigid’s. Dere’s a jackass lyin dead on me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’ yer lads to take care of da matter?”

    Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, “Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!”

    There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.

    Father O’Malley then replied: “Aye, tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.”

  3. Ken Armstrong

    All right, if we’re actually going to do this…

    Young Jamsie went into confession.
    “Bless me fadder”, he said, “I had sex with a girl from the parish”.
    The good father tutted.
    “Was it Mary Fitzpatrick?” He asked.
    “No fadder.”
    “Was it Jacinta O’Boyle”
    “No fadder.”
    “Who was it so?”
    “Can’t say fadder.”

    Outside his pal was waiting.
    “Well?” he asked
    “It worked,” smiled Jamesie, “I got a few hot tips for Saturday night.!

  4. skarlet syquia

    Thoughtful post – I am thankful for the information , Does someone know where I might acquire a blank CBP 6059B document to fill out ?


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