1995 Was a Good Year for Modems
I wish I was all smart like Dionne Farris. This whole song is about how she knows this and she knows that. I hope she knew this would be her only hit and that she should save her money. I really hope she did cause I like this song and I think she deserves it. I bet she probably had a computer with Windows 95 on it and a wicked fast modem. Or maybe she didn’t know why anyone would ever need a computer when they didn’t need one for the previous ALL OF TIME!
Maybe she took her money and bought stock in Microsoft. In 1995 a share cost less than 6 bucks. Suck on that. I mean, it had already split a bunch of times by then but even so. Less than 6 bucks? Let’s pretend that Dionne Farris had enough money to buy 10,000 shares. And let’s say it cost her $60,000.00. And since she knew so much (listen to the song, she really brags a lot!) she knew that the stock would split THREE TIMES in the next few years. So instead of 10,000 shares she has 80,000 shares. But she doesn’t sell. Oh no. She waits until the stock reaches its highest point. December 24th 1999. A share of Microsoft would cost you $58.72 and Dionne Farris would have gotten a cool $4,697,600.00.
Or she thought she was going to be famous for years and blew all her money on drugs and Nintendo games. I don’t know and I don’t have time to look. I need to finish my time machine so I can go back to 1995, buy this CD and some Microsoft stock and trick Carmen Electra into sleeping with me by betting her I could pick the winners of the World Series, the Super Bowl. The Stanley Cup and the NBA Championship. And if that doesn’t do it, I will predict that OJ is found not guilty! Video and lyrics after the jump!
Dionne Farris – I Know
I know what you’re doing yeah
I know why you dial my number
I know what you’re doing yeah
I know why you care
I know what you’re doing yeah
I know why you say you love me
I know what you’re doing yeah
I don’t think it’s fair
I know why you dial my number
I know why you say you’re mine
I know what you’re doing
And it’s not gonna work this time
Not gonna work this time
I know what you’re doing yeah
I could never sing in that key
I know what you’re doing yeah
And you’re the one to blame
I know what you’re doing yeah
I know why you can’t forgive me
I know why you’re singing lost love
The lyrics haven’t changed
I can recognize the symptoms
You should know I’ve changed my mind
I know what you’re doing
And it’s not gonna work this time
Said it’s not gonna work this time
Not gonna work this time
Not gonna work this time
I know what you’re doing baby
I know why you call my name
I know why you say you love me
But I can’t say the same
I can recognize the symptoms
You should know I’ve changed my mind
I know what you’re doing
And it’s not gonna work this time
I should totally karaoke this but chances are I won’t. I might. I probably won’t. It’s a think piece.
I hope you can use some of that magic to cure a bunch of the STDs you’re sure to pick up from Carmen Electra.
Acadia McFly
Do I want to go back with you in your time machine and get Microsoft stock (I can live without Carmen Electra).
This supposed time machine is probably a hot tub and it probably doesn’t work unless everyone is topless.
I can do a topless hot tub time machine.. I say go for it
The day before Steve Jobs announced his Apple comeback, it was $10 a share, in less then a year it was $115 if I remember correctly.. so sell the Microsoft shares and buy Apple, in less then 6 yrs, 60k turns to 40mil, thats the lottery right there.. Sign me up
I don’t like Apple so I don’t think I can do it.