Science shows that it is 97.34% more likely that a shark will come out of your soup and kill you than the thing you will see below.

The hotel scam warning was plausible.  Lot’s of these warnings seem plausible.  This one is just crazy from the beginning and gets crazier until it winds up as some sort of orgy of crazy.  I could add a few more things to worry about, but I don’t think I could make anything more crazy.  How about: don’t use the self checkouts at your supermarket cause the people who work in the stores will steal your credit card and then somehow fuck you in the ass with your loyalty card…

No?  Well, you come up with something crazier than this!

Several things to be aware of this year…as gangs and robbers are now plotting different ways to get a person to “stop” their vehicle. Please note: There is a gang initiation reported by the local police department that gangs are placing a car seat by the road…with a fake baby in it… waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the baby. Note that the location of this car seat will usually be beside a wooded or grassy (field) area …and the person – woman – will be dragged into the woods- beaten and raped- usually left for dead. DO NOT STOP. DIAL 9-1-1 AND INFORM THEM…..  Also: IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT NIGHT AND EGGS ARE THROWN AT YOUR WINDSHIELD, DO NOT OPERATE THE WIPER AND SPRAY ANY WATER BECAUSE EGGS MIXED WITH WATER BECOME MILKY AND BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5% SO YOU ARE FORCED TO STOP BESIDE THE ROAD AND BECOME A VICTIM OF ROBBERS. THIS IS A NEW TECHNIQUE USED BY ROBBERS. PLEASE INFORM YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES.

So I guess I am doing my due diligence by informing you, friends.  Well, my lady friends.  There is nothing specific about men stopping to find the fake baby and then either looking around to find the people who used the fake baby as bait or stealing the fake baby cause “fake baby” must be a lot more convincing than a “doll”.

Don’t let the fake baby bastards win!