“How would you survive the zombie apocalypse?” is a popular question these days.

Well, I am here to give you some tips you might not be aware of, for when you need to escape town for a few days or… forever.

Now if you think too hard about some of these facts you’re realize that some of them will not be useful too far into said apocalypse, as I presume the items I am discussing may become completely impossible to obtain or produce. However, please humor me as I’m also giving you advice on what to take with you in case you just decide you’ve had enough of this shitty world and you want to go bushwacking up Mount Katahdin or something (Seriously though, check out Baxter State Park if you’re the outdoorsy type. Easy there to get away from literally the whole world and all other human beings and just forget about all the nonsense).

Here are some items that travel well without refrigeration, and about how long you can keep them:

  • Eggs. Seriously, you really don’t need to refrigerate them. Could you get a bad one? Sure, but you could if you refrigerate them too. There is literally no need for refrigeration. I know this will sound bananas to anyone in the U.S. so just trust me. I have carried unrefrigerated eggs in a backpack for a week, cooked them, and had no ill side effects. Here is a super scientific article about it in The Daily Mail. They can last for months or longer.
  • Dried/cured meats like salami, pepperoni, etc. They last longer if sold in links than sliced but even deli salami lasts a long time. At least weeks.
  • Butter. Keep it in something that won’t let grease seep through but otherwise you’re golden. Obviously if it’s 100 degrees out it will melt. So room temperature or cooler is best if you want it in solid form. You can try with margarine too but it might not stand up as well.
  • Cheese. The harder the cheese the longer it lasts. So think sharp cheddar not Brie. Hard cheeses will last indefinitely if they are wrapped in wax or sealed in plastic. If it grows mold you can just cut the mold off and eat the rest. Mold isn’t rot.
  • Condiments such as ketchup, mustard, relish, mayonnaise (yes, mayonnaise – you just need to keep contaminants out), vinegar, oil, oil-based salad dressing. Several months at least.
  • Spreads such as jam, peanut butter, honey, maple syrup, molasses. Exposing sugary things to air will let mold grow but they won’t go bad. So use small sealed containers if possible and open just one at a time. Peanut butter will last for months, even all-natural (This is a shame for me because I hate peanut butter. I know, I know, why don’t I just get out of the country already? Completely un-American). Weeks at least.
  • Yogurt. Seriously, weeks.

So you can enjoy delicious eggs, meats, cheeses, and dairy. You don’t need to live on canned food and vacuum-sealed dehydrated meals.