The infamous Doctor Nob has his Nob scale of dirty words that gets broadcast on Podcaturday with more proffesional sound effects than Podcaturday itself so we know Doctor Nob and his dirty word are much classier than Acadia, Jenny and James. Now personally I like to use those nasty old “C” words since I don’t think old fashioned Anglo Saxon fricatives are anything to blush at but I’m constantly amazed at grown up adult people, especially women,  who need to use euphemisms . Dear lady if you want me to do that to your brownie you’re going to have to call it something a bit more provocative. Still I recognize that many people from the bible belt might have a coronary if those words were used anywhere but on a site like Nobilis Erotica so you might need to consult from the list of alternates in the Big Boy’s Book of Literary Euphemisms.  If you’re a lot smarter than me you can guess where each of them came from. Most of them you’d get college credit for reading.

  • Coffee Grinder (Hear Bessie Smith sing “Grind my coffee with a Deep, Deep grind)
  • Cabbage Patch
  • The Acre (As in my acre’s sunburned. What’s the name of Redford’s movie where she get’s that sunburn?)
  • Tail (Chaucer used it, “A liquorous mouth must have a liquorous tail” [Sloe Gin does the trick] but the Wyfe also says “thynges smale” for you ladies who are smarting)
  • Box
  • The Privy Part
  • Receiving Set
  • Scabbard
  • Purse
  • Basket
  • Button (Technically just a part of the whole but in my experience the most important part)
  • Cape Horn
  • The South Pole
  • The Garden Of Eden
  • Eve’s Custom House (Adam’s port of entry)
  • The Gate Of Life
  • Pocketbook
  • Taco
  • The Bower Of Bliss (Spenser’s Faerie Queen)
  • The Middle Kingdom
  • Sportsman’s Gap
  • Marble Arch
  • The Wayside Fountain
  • The Covered Way (Tristam Shandy, ask my brother)
  • The Palace Of Pleasure
  • The Antipodes
  • The Harbor
  • The Harbor Of Hope
  • Downstairs
  • The Front Garden (Has the grass been mowed or is it a wild bush?)
  • The Alcove
  • The Temple Of Virginity (Obsolete)
  • The Oven (As in bun it the oven)
  • Butter Boat (I just melted right into her)
  • The Workshop
  • The Toy Shop
  • The Valley Of Delight
  • The Ace Of Spades (Play the Ace of Spades boys use your One Eyed Jack)
  • Golden Donut (David Williamson The Removalists, Australian)
  • The Bogs (Also Ireland because it rains there all the time [Grose 1785 “Ireland is the urinal of the planet”])
  • Grumble and Grunt
  • Lady Jane (How long has it been since I read Lady Chatterly)
  • Lady Flower
  • Black Bess
  • Daisy
  • Venus’s Highway
  • Meg
  • The Divine Monosyllable
  • Nameless
  • Name it Not
  • Nonesuch
  • Etceteras (Never liked e. e. cummings)
  • Polly Nussy
  • Muffin (Lets all go to Joisey)
  • Jelly Roll (Also means one’s Sugar Daddy, go figure)
  • Honey Pot
  • Snatch (Etymology, from to snatch a piece. I learn something every day)
  • Tom Cat (Never heard of it but a southern belle of my acquaintance swears that it’s used she also says a child’s vagina is referred to as a Tootsie-Wootsie)
  • Forbidden Territory
  • Country Matters (Read your Hamlet)
  • The Treasury (Where men store their Jewels)
  • Belle Chose (French for pretty thing)
  • Muff
  • and of course the ever popular Beaver.

See what happens when you encourage me by reading my articles?

And now something completely NSFW