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Euphemistically Speaking it’s NSFW

The infamous Doctor Nob has his Nob scale of dirty words that gets broadcast on Podcaturday with more proffesional sound effects than Podcaturday itself so we know Doctor Nob and his dirty word are much classier than Acadia, Jenny and James. Now personally I like to use those nasty old “C” words since I don’t think old fashioned Anglo Saxon fricatives are anything to blush at but I’m constantly amazed at grown up adult people, especially women,  who need to use euphemisms . Dear lady if you want me to do that to your brownie you’re going to have to call it something a bit more provocative. Still I recognize that many people from the bible belt might have a coronary if those words were used anywhere but on a site like Nobilis Erotica so you might need to consult from the list of alternates in the Big Boy’s Book of Literary Euphemisms.  If you’re a lot smarter than me you can guess where each of them came from. Most of them you’d get college credit for reading.

  • Coffee Grinder (Hear Bessie Smith sing “Grind my coffee with a Deep, Deep grind)
  • Cabbage Patch
  • The Acre (As in my acre’s sunburned. What’s the name of Redford’s movie where she get’s that sunburn?)
  • Tail (Chaucer used it, “A liquorous mouth must have a liquorous tail” [Sloe Gin does the trick] but the Wyfe also says “thynges smale” for you ladies who are smarting)
  • Box
  • The Privy Part
  • Receiving Set
  • Scabbard
  • Purse
  • Basket
  • Button (Technically just a part of the whole but in my experience the most important part)
  • Cape Horn
  • The South Pole
  • The Garden Of Eden
  • Eve’s Custom House (Adam’s port of entry)
  • The Gate Of Life
  • Pocketbook
  • Taco
  • The Bower Of Bliss (Spenser’s Faerie Queen)
  • The Middle Kingdom
  • Sportsman’s Gap
  • Marble Arch
  • The Wayside Fountain
  • The Covered Way (Tristam Shandy, ask my brother)
  • The Palace Of Pleasure
  • The Antipodes
  • The Harbor
  • The Harbor Of Hope
  • Downstairs
  • The Front Garden (Has the grass been mowed or is it a wild bush?)
  • The Alcove
  • The Temple Of Virginity (Obsolete)
  • The Oven (As in bun it the oven)
  • Butter Boat (I just melted right into her)
  • The Workshop
  • The Toy Shop
  • The Valley Of Delight
  • The Ace Of Spades (Play the Ace of Spades boys use your One Eyed Jack)
  • Golden Donut (David Williamson The Removalists, Australian)
  • The Bogs (Also Ireland because it rains there all the time [Grose 1785 “Ireland is the urinal of the planet”])
  • Grumble and Grunt
  • Lady Jane (How long has it been since I read Lady Chatterly)
  • Lady Flower
  • Black Bess
  • Daisy
  • Venus’s Highway
  • Meg
  • The Divine Monosyllable
  • Nameless
  • Name it Not
  • Nonesuch
  • Etceteras (Never liked e. e. cummings)
  • Polly Nussy
  • Muffin (Lets all go to Joisey)
  • Jelly Roll (Also means one’s Sugar Daddy, go figure)
  • Honey Pot
  • Snatch (Etymology, from to snatch a piece. I learn something every day)
  • Tom Cat (Never heard of it but a southern belle of my acquaintance swears that it’s used she also says a child’s vagina is referred to as a Tootsie-Wootsie)
  • Forbidden Territory
  • Country Matters (Read your Hamlet)
  • The Treasury (Where men store their Jewels)
  • Belle Chose (French for pretty thing)
  • Muff
  • and of course the ever popular Beaver.

See what happens when you encourage me by reading my articles?

And now something completely NSFW

About The Author

21 Comments

  1. Acadia

    Golden Donut?

    Reply
  2. Sangfroid

    What you’ve never lovingly referred to her Golden Donut. Get with the times mate!

    It’s from The Removalists http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Removalists

    Everything on the list is Lit based or else it would be six miles long. Puanani, for example, has yet to make it’s presence known in a lit type book.

    Reply
  3. vange

    POCKET BOOK!

    Reply
    • Sangfroid

      Fess up Vange, have you ever called the Golden Donut your Brownie?

      Reply
  4. vange

    Never. I have admitted to making pearls after a day at the beach, though. And I most often refer to that body part as a “Georgia O’Keefe.”

    Reply
    • Sangfroid

      Making Pearls after a day at the beach……so that’s what they’re calling that these days!

      Reply
  5. Patrick

    I have heard the term jade garden, not to be confused with jade gate, which is the ‘back door’ portal..

    Reply
    • Sangfroid

      There used to be a long list of rules for contributing to the list. Now it’s down to if it’s in a book.

      Reply
  6. Acadia

    I’m making this a bullet list. It’s fuckin’ killing me!

    Reply
    • Sangfroid

      Obsessive compulsive power-point freak!

      Reply
  7. Acadia

    Holy crap that’s better. I totally missed that one of them was “meg”.

    HA!

    Reply
    • Sangfroid

      See if I was a real academic I’d have kept better notes on this list and be able to cite everything. Like how would you cite a Vangism anyway? That is if you could figure what she’s talking about with all that arty talk about pearls on the beach.

      Reply
      • Acadia

        I just assumed she meant that she got sand in her bathing suit.

        Reply
        • Sangfroid

          Is that like a sandpaper Brazilian wax then?

          Reply
          • vange

            Oh for Pete’s sake, sang. Think how a pearl is made. Then think of a girl getting sand in her suit bottoms. You’re really over thinking this.

  8. Sangfroid

    I love you Vange. Not a single mention of Clam. In that explanation *hugs*

    Reply
  9. vange

    I’m super awesome and you love me.

    Reply
    • Sangfroid

      Shh don’t tell anyone I like smart clever witty women or I’ll lose my membership in the Manly Man Club.

      Reply
      • Sangfroid

        MOAR BOOBS

        Reply
  10. vange

    Manly men only like ditzy morons? News to me but explains A LOT about my life. LOLOLOLOL

    Reply
  11. sangfroid

    The first known use in English is a street name in Oxford. In 1230 you could visit Gropec*ntlane to presumably pick up a date.

    Reply

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