You might remember last year when I singlehandedly made Coley Gaffney a household name by rooting for her on The Next Food Network Star last year.  Since then her own site, Coley Cooks is looking good and she has managed to remain cool and not force me to make fun of her for being a hipster doofus (which is really the most any of you can hope for).  Now, since she made it to the final three (and big surprise the dink who won doesn’t have a show because I am always right) last year she is an expert on the show and how it works.  And I assume that the statute of limitations has expired on what she can’t say so I will ask her increasingly hard questions as time goes on.  Worst case is she just makes up lies.  It’s not like I can check.

So – since episode two of the show is on tonight and the first episode is online, here I am prepping you with both the eppy AND the Q&A with our expert.  If you don’t watch the show it won’t make a ton of sense but whatevs.  Maybe I will just start asking her other, weirder questions.  She already promised to answer so if the show this year sucks we can ask her things about cooking and what it’s like to try to make it in the rough and tumble world or professional YouTube chef.

Eh, those questions would suck.  So if the show thing doesn’t pan out we will just do a bunch of creepy “would you rather’s”.  Yeahhh.  That’s what we’ll do.  But for now, here is the episode AND the Q&A.  And if you watch tonight’s episode (or are just generally inquisitive) and want to ask her things – use the Contact Form.

Acadia: Why the hell are the hosts so far away from the contestants?

Coley: Because they don’t want us to have any actual interaction with them.

Acadia: How long do you have to sit in the diary room? Do you even remember the things they are asking you about?

Coley: A REALLY LONG TIME. Like, hours. And its awful. They ask you about every minute detail of the day and it’s exhausting.

Acadia: Why aren’t they any drag princesses? Why they all queens?

Coley: I don’t have all the answers.

Acadia: Do they tell you what to wear or do you get to pick whatever you want?

Coley: You bring your own stuff and then a whole team of people tell you want to wear, or more importantly, what not to wear.

Acadia: Did you know that I was going to call Emilia Emma the minute that I saw Emilia?

Coley: Obvi.

Acadia: Did Matthew annoy you? He was on Cutthroat Kitchen.

Coley: Of course he annoyed me, that’s why they put him on tv. Every reality show needs a villain and someone you love to hate. But honestly, wtf is his deal?

Acadia: OMG wait no the dude with the long hair is Emma!

Coley: What?

Acadia: Which one is you?

Coley: I think I’m a mashup between Jay, Rosa and Emilia?IM MY OWN DAMN PERSON.

Acadia: Are the surprises really surprising? Like, do you just hear things for the first time when they say it in the scene?

Coley: Yes. Except Reuben the sneaky Cuban was always creeping around and finding things out for us. He was great for that.

Acadia: How early did you have to get up to go to all these things?

Coley: REALLY FREAKING EARLY. Usually 6am call times.

So I am doing this every week and the more questions you send in the better.  And I will make sure I promote her a lot since she told Giada that I said hi with no context whatsoever.  She just saw Giada in Miami and said: “Acadia says hi”.  HOW AWESOME IS THAT?