If you listen to this song in the beginning it sounds like they just of crammed some words in there that didn’t really fit.  Whatever.  You will remember the song etc. etc. but the important part of this is that I got a list of Patron Saints to go with the post.  Being Catholic rules.  Sure you can criticize us for sheltering pedophiles, selling indulgences and causing the Dark Ages but it isn’t like you are all moving out of America because of what we did to the Indians (or the Japanese during WW2 for that matter) and last I checked Penn State was still in business.  So stop generalizing you hypocrites.

A couple notes:

1. I am not condoning the sheltering of pedophiles.  Unless by sheltering you mean dropping giant boulders on them so they don’t get wet in which case I am.
2. Why the hell is St. Elmo the patron saint of Women in Labor instead of the patron saint of FIRE?
3. There is a patron saint of earaches.  Does that mean he watches over and protects earaches?  If so then screw you, St. Polycarp.  You make babies (and this dude I work with) cry.  Seriously he is a grown man and always has ear infections.  Stupid St. Polycarp.
4. When there aren’t anymore blacksmiths (or, to put in another way: any time now) what will the patron saint of blacksmiths do?  Will they switch him to like, iPhones?
5. Back to the video for one sec: why do I always get surprised when I see a black British person?  Does that make me racist or them?  And while we are on the subject, how come there are no Japanese midgets?  Or maybe I should clarify to say famous Japanese midgets?

I really hope I get ranked in Google for Japanese midgets.

Patron Saints!

Accountants

• St. Matthew

Actors

• St. Genesius

Addicts

• St. Maximilian Mary Kolbe

Advertising

• St. Bernardine of Siena

African-Americans

• St. Peter Claver
• St. Martin de Porres
• St. Benedict the African

AIDS patients

• St. Peregrine Laziosi

Air travelers

• St. Joseph of Cupertino

Alcoholics

• St. Monica
• Venerable Matt Talbot

Altar servers

• St. John Berchmans

Americas

• St. Rose of Lima
• Our Lady of Guadalupe

Anesthetists

• St. Rene Goupil

Animals

• St. Francis of Assisi

Archaeologists

• St. Helen

Architects

• St. Thomas the Apostle

Argentina

• Our Lady of Lujan

Art

• St. Catharine of Bologna

Artists

• St. Luke
• St. Catharine of Bologna
• Blessed Fra Angelico

Astronauts

• St. Joseph of Cupertino

Astronomers

• St. Dominic

Athletes

• St. Sebastian

Attorneys

• St. Raymond of Peñafort
• St. Thomas More

Australia

• Our Lady Help of Christians

Authors

• St. Francis de Sales

Babies

• Holy Innocents

Bakers

• St. Elizabeth of Hungary
• St. Nicholas

Bankers

• St. Matthew

Baptism

• St. John the Baptist

Barbers

• St. Louis of France
• Sts. Cosmas and Damian
• St. Martin de Porres

Bee keepers

• St. Ambrose

Beggars

• St. Alexis
• St. Giles

Belgium

• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Blacksmiths

• St. Dunstan

Blind

• St. Lucy
• Raphael (Michael, Gabriel and Raphael)

Bodily ills

• Our Lady of Lourdes

Bohemia

• St. Wenceslaus

Bookkeepers

• St. Matthew

Booksellers

• St. John of God

Boy Scouts

• St. George

Boys

• St. John Bosco

Brazil

• Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception

Breast disease, against

• St. Agatha

Brewers

• St. Luke
• St. Nicholas
• St. Augustine of Hippo

Bricklayers

• St. Stephen

Brides

• St. Nicholas

Broadcasters

• Gabriel (Michael, Gabriel and Raphael)

Builders

• St. Vincent Ferrer
• St. Barbara

Businessmen

• St. Homobonus

Businesswomen

• St. Margaret Clitherow

Butchers

• St. Luke
• St. Anthony the Abbot

Cab drivers

• St. Fiacre

Canada

• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Cancer patients

• St. Peregrine Laziosi

Carpenters

• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Catechists

• St. Robert Bellarmine
• St. Charles Borromeo
• St. Viator

Catechumens

• St. Robert Bellarmine
• St. Charles Borromeo

Catholic schools

• St. Thomas Aquinas

Catholic youth

• St. Aloysius Gonzaga
• St. Maria Goretti

Charities

• St. Vincent de Paul

Childbirth

• St. Gerard Majella
• St. Raymond Nonnatus

Children

• St. Nicholas

Chile

• St. James
• Our Lady of Mount Carmel

China

• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Choirboys

• St. Dominic Savio

Church

• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Civil servants

• St. Thomas More

Clergy

• St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows

Colleges

• St. Thomas Aquinas

Colombia

• St. Peter Claver
• St. Louis Bertrand

Comedians

• St. Vitus

Communication workers

• Gabriel (Michael, Gabriel and Raphael)

Computers

• St. Isidore of Seville

Construction workers

• St. Thomas the Apostle

Cooks

• St. Lawrence
• St. Thomas the Apostle

Court clerks

• St. Thomas More

Dairy workers

• St. Brigid of Kildare

Dancers

• St. Vitus

Deacons

• St. Stephen

Deafness

• St. Francis de Sales

Death

• Saints Michael, Gabriel and Raphael
• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Denmark

• St. Ansgar
• St. Canute

Dentists

• St. Apollonia

Desperate causes

• St. Jude (Simon and Jude)

Difficult marriages

• St. Rita of Cascia

Disabled

• St. Giles

Disasters

• St. Genevieve

Doctors

• St. Luke

Dogs

• St. Roch

Dominican Republic

• St. Dominic

Drivers

• St. Fiacre

Drug addiction

• St. Maximilian Mary Kolbe

Earaches

• St. Polycarp

Earthquakes

• St. Francis Borgia

Ecology

• St. Francis of Assisi

Editors

• St. John Bosco

Engineers

• St. Patrick
• St. Ferdinand III

England

• St. Gregory the Great
• St. George
• St. Augustine of Canterbury

Epilepsy

• St. Vitus
• St. Dymphna
• St. Willibrord

Europe

• St. Bridget
• St. Catherine of Siena
• St. Benedict

Eye disorders

• St. Clare
• St. Lucy

Falsely accused

• St. Raymond Nonnatus

Farmers

• St. Isidore the Farmer

Fathers

• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Firefighters

• St. John of God
• St. Florian

Fishermen

• St. Andrew
• St. Peter (Peter and Paul)

Florists

• St. Rose of Lima
• St. Thérèse of Lisieux
• St. Dorothy

Foundry workers

• St. Agatha

France

• Our Lady of the Assumption
• St. Joan of Arc
• St. Denis

Funeral directors

• Our Lady of the Assumption
• St. Joan of Arc
• St. Denis

Gambling, compulsive behavior

• St. Bernardine of Siena

Gardeners

• St. Fiacre
• St. Adelard

Germany

• Saints Michael, Gabriel and Raphael
• St. Peter Canisius
• St. George
• St. Boniface

Girls

• St. Agnes
• St. Maria Goretti

Grandparents

• Sts. Ann and Joachim

Gravediggers

• St. Anthony the Abbot

Greece

• St. Andrew
• St. Nicholas

Greetings

• St. Valentine

Grocers

• Saints Michael, Gabriel and Raphael

Grooms

• St. Louis of France
• St. Nicholas

Gypsies

• Blessed Ceferino Giménez Malla

Hairdressers

• St. Martin de Porres

Happy death

• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Headaches

• St. Teresa of Avila

Heart patients

• St. John of God

Homeless

• St. Benedict Joseph Labre

Horses

• St. Martin of Tours

Hospital administrators

• St. Frances Xavier Cabrini

Hospitals

• St. John of God
• St. Camillus de Lellis

Hotel keepers

• St. Amand

Housewives

• St. Martha
• Sts. Ann and Joachim

Hungary

• St. Stephen
• St. Gerard

Hunters

• St. Hubert
• St. Eustachius

Immigrants

• St. Frances Xavier Cabrini

Impossible causes

• St. Frances Xavier Cabrini
• St. Rita of Cascia

India

• Our Lady of the Assumption

Infertility

• St. Rita of Cascia
• St. Philomena

Insanity

• St. Dymphna

Internet

• St. Isidore of Seville

Invalids

• St. Roch

Ireland

• St. Patrick
• St. Brigid of Kildare
• St. Columba

Italy

• St. Francis of Assisi
• St. Catherine of Siena
• St. Bernardine of Siena

Japan

• St. Francis Xavier
• St. Peter Baptist and Companions

Jewelers

• St. Eligius

Jordan

• St. John the Baptist

Journalists

• St. Francis de Sales

Judges

• St. John of Capistrano

Juvenile delinquents

• St. Dominic Savio

Kidney disease

• St. Benedict

Knee problems

• St. Roch

Laborers

• St. James
• St. Isidore the Farmer

Latin America

• St. Rose of Lima

Lawyers

• St. Raymond of Peñafort
• St. Thomas More

Learning

• St. Ambrose

Librarians

• St. Jerome

Lithuania

• St. Casimir

Longevity

• St. Peter (Peter and Paul)

Loss of parents

• St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

Lost items

• St. Anthony of Padua

Lovers

• St. Valentine

Maids, domestic workers

• St. Zita of Lucca

Married women

• St. Monica

Medical technicians

• St. Albert the Great

Mentally ill

• St. Dymphna

Merchants

• St. Francis of Assisi
• St. Nicholas

Messengers

• Gabriel (Michael, Gabriel and Raphael)

Metal workers

• St. Eligius

Mexico

• Our Lady of Guadalupe

Midwives

• St. Raymond Nonnatus

Military members

• St. Joan of Arc

Miscarriage, prevention of

• St. Catherine of Sweden

Missionaries

• St. Thérèse of Lisieux
• St. Francis Xavier

Monks

• St. John the Baptist

Mothers

• St. Monica

Motorists

• St. Frances of Rome

Musicians

• St. Cecilia

Mystics

• St. John of the Cross

Netherlands

• St. Willibrord

Neurological diseases

• St. Dymphna

New Zealand

• Our Lady Help of Christians

Nicaragua

• St. James

Nigeria

• St. Patrick

North Africa

• St. Cyprian

North America

• St. Isaac Jogues, Jean de Brébeuf and Companions

Norway

• St. Olaf

Notaries

• St. Luke
• St. Mark

Nuns

• St. Scholastica
• St. Brigid of Kildare

Nurses

• St. Agatha
• St. John of God
• St. Camillus de Lellis

Obstetricians

• St. Raymond Nonnatus

Oceania

• St. Peter Chanel

Orators

• St. John Chrysostom

Orphans, abandoned children

• St. Jerome Emiliani

Painters

• St. Luke

Paraguay

• Our Lady of the Assumption

Paralysis

• St. Osmund

Parenthood

• St. Rita of Cascia

Parish priests

• St. John Vianney

Pawnbrokers

• St. Nicholas

Penitents

• St. Mary Magdalene

Perfumers

• St. Mary Magdalene

Peru

• St. Rose of Lima
• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Pharmacists

• Sts. Cosmas and Damian

Philippines

• St. Rose of Lima

Philosophers

• St. Albert the Great
• St. Catherine of Alexandria

Physicians

• Sts. Cosmas and Damian
• St. Luke

Pilots

• St. Joseph of Cupertino
• St. Thérèse of Lisieux

Poets

• St. David of Wales
• St. Columba

Poisoning

• St. Benedict

Poland

• St. Casimir
• St. Stanislaus
• St. Florian

Police officers

• Saints Michael, Gabriel and Raphael

Politicians, public servants

• St. Thomas More

Poor

• St. Lawrence
• St. Anthony of Padua

Popes

• St. Peter (Peter and Paul)

Portugal

• St. George

Postal workers

• Gabriel (Michael, Gabriel and Raphael)

Preachers

• St. John Chrysostom

Pregnant women

• St. Gerard Majella
• St. Raymond Nonnatus
• Sts. Ann and Joachim
• St. Margaret

Priests

• St. John Vianney

Printers

• St. Augustine of Hippo
• St. John of God

Prisoners

• St. Joseph Cafasso
• St. Dismas

Prussia

• St. Joseph Cafasso

Public relations

• St. Bernardine of Siena

Race relations

• St. Martin de Porres

Radio

• Gabriel (Michael, Gabriel and Raphael)

Radiologists

• Saints Michael, Gabriel and Raphael

Reconciliation

• St. Vincent Ferrer

Retreats

• St. Ignatius of Loyola

Rheumatism

• St. James

Robbers, danger from

• St. Leonard of Noblac

Rome

• St. Peter (Peter and Paul)

Russia

• St. Andrew
• St. Nicholas
• Sts. Basil the Great
  and Gregory Nazianzen
• St. Casimir
• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Sailors

• St. Francis of Paola
• St. Elmo
• St. Brendan

Savings

• St. Anthony Claret

Scholars

• St. Bede the Venerable
• St. Brigid of Kildare

Schoolchildren

• St. Benedict

Schools

• St. Thomas Aquinas

Scientists

• St. Albert the Great

Scotland

• St. Andrew
• St. Margaret

Sculptors

• St. Claude

Secretaries

• St. Genesius

Seminarians

• St. Charles Borromeo

Serbia

• St. Sava

Servants

• St. Zita of Lucca

Shepherds

• St. Paschal Baylon
• St. Marie Bernadette Soubirous

Sick

• St. John of God

Skin diseases

• St. John of God
• St. Anthony the Abbot

Slavic peoples

• Sts. Cyril and Methodius

Sobriety

• Venerable Matt Talbot

Social justice

• St. Martin de Porres
• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Social workers

• St. Louise de Marillac

Soldiers

• St. Martin of Tours
• St. George

South Africa

• Our Lady of the Assumption

South America

• St. Rose of Lima

Spain

• St. James

Speakers

• St. John Chrysostom

Stomach disorders

• Sts. Timothy and Titus

Students

• St. Thomas Aquinas
• St. Catherine of Alexandria

Surgeons

• Sts. Cosmas and Damian
• St. Luke

Sweden

• St. Bridget of Sweden

Switzerland

• St. Nicholas von Flue

Tailors

• St. Homobonus

Tax collectors

• St. Matthew

Taxi drivers

• St. Fiacre

Teachers

• St. Gregory the Great
• St. John Baptist de la Salle

Teenagers

• St. Aloysius Gonzaga
• St. Maria Goretti

Telecommunications

• Gabriel (Michael, Gabriel and Raphael)

Television

• St. Clare

Theatrical performers

• St. Genesius

Theologians

• St. Alphonsus Liguori
• St. Augustine of Hippo

Throat ailments

• St. Blaise

Toothache

• St. Apollonia

Travelers

• St. Nicholas
• Solemnity of St. Joseph
• St. Anthony of Padua
• Raphael (Michael, Gabriel and Raphael)

Turkey

• St. John the Apostle

Undertakers

• Sts. Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus

United States

• Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception

Universal Church

• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Universities

• Blessed Contardo Ferrini

Uruguay

• Sts. Philip and James

Venereal disease

• St. Fiacre

Venezuela

• Our Lady of Coromoto

Veterinarians

• St. Eligius

Vietnam

• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Vintners

• St. Amand

Vocations

• St. Alphonsus Liguori

Waiters, waitresses

• St. Martha

Wales

• St. David of Wales

Weavers

• St. Anthony Claret

West Indies

• St. Gertrude

Widows

• St. Frances of Rome
• St. Paula

Wine trade

• St. Amand
• St. Vincent of Zaragossa

Women in labor

• Sts. Ann and Joachim
• St. Elmo

Workers

• Solemnity of St. Joseph

Writers

• St. Francis de Sales