Happy Birthday, America.  And thanks for reminding us that the odds of someone with a mullet and a terrible song that someone else wrote could get to #4 on the charts and start a whole five years of old white ladies line dancing at weddings and then fathering a kid who was a cute as a button kid then turned 18 cut off her hair, hung her tongue out and played with her butt or something and got a million times more famous happening in some other country like Switzerland or the Phillipines are VERY FRIGGING SLIM!

Seriously, that could be his Wikipedia entry.  Look it up.