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Friday Nineties – Britney Spears – …Baby One More Time

See that picture up there?  That’s Britney Spears.  She takes one pic of herself in a bikini where she doesn’t look like Danny Devito and the whole internet goes foolish.  Take another look at the pic.  Her stupid kids are blocking her and it’s all blurry.  Actually it doesn’t even really look like her.  I might have stumbled onto some kind of conspiracy.

Real or not, though, the pic does illustrate what having kids does to chicks whose job it is to look sexy.  Lowers the bar.  Wayyy down.  My proof is this week’s song.  You might not realize it, but “…Baby One More Time” is from 1999.  And that makes it fair game.  And it should also make everyone look at her in the video and then look at her ridiculous unsexy antics over the past 5 years or so and get really mad.  And don’t for ONE SECOND start yapping to me about how “it’s natural” and “everyone is sexy”.  No, everyone isn’t.  And Britney Spears used to be but squirting out kids, smoking and doing whippets with full cans of whipped cream ruined it.  And now we can just look at her dancing around all skinny and whatnot in the video that made her famous and then run to Wikipedia quick and see how old she was when she made it.  I personally didn’t because I am a rebel.  Or a perv.  Whatever.

So remember.  The reason it is ok to be mad that Britney Spears is not hot anymore is the same reason why we don’t go watch skinny people box or car races where all the drivers are old.  Actually, old people car racing might be cool.  Let’s do a Kickstarter!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-u5WLJ9Yk4

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.

15 Comments

  1. Angela Mia

    Fuck that. She’s still hotter than a lot of women who have never had kids… a lot of younger women who have never had kids. And most men would still sleep with her — or watch her dance half naked — in a heartbeat if they could.

    My point is, having kids does damage, but I see plenty of younger women every day at the gym, on the street, and at the mall, who have never had kids who look way worse than that.

    Her personal antics and whip-it habits notwithstanding, of course.

    So fuck that.

    Um… can I say fuck on here?

    Reply
    • Acadia

      NO YOU CANT!

      Reply
  2. sj

    I think I’m more concerned with trying to figure out why she’s in (what appears to be) a cheap motel with her littlies.

    Reply
    • Acadia

      She’s terrible!

      Reply
  3. Angela Mia

    You’d still shtup her.

    Reply
    • Acadia

      AS IF!

      Reply
  4. Princess Peach

    I blame K-Fed.

    Reply
    • Acadia

      true

      Reply
  5. Acadia

    You are missing the point. Her JOB was to look hot. Comparing her to “normals” makes no sense.

    Reply
    • teerex101

      NO, her job is not to look “HOT”! Her job was to earn money. Whether she did it by showing off her body, making music or doing music videos is not the point, she was making money, bottom line! And sure I could blame Fed for some of it but I would blame that Hilton thing who latched onto her when she left Fed. And now, Hilton isn’t even a has-been, she’s a “was not”!

      Reply
      • Acadia

        It was sort of her job to look hot!

        Reply
  6. Princess Peach

    Also, that chick has serious cash. And her pops made sure she didn’t blow it all. So why can’t she afford a decent weave? I see hookers on the corner with better hair.

    Reply
  7. mordsith

    comparing a 16 years old girl to a 30 years old woman, sure 14 years shouldn’t make any difference. re-do the math u dick, and while your’re at it, get a life.

    Reply
  8. paige hart

    the pearson who published this is a fucking idiot how u talk about someones kids like that grow the fuck up u childish little fuck lets see a pic of u and start pointing out ur bad bits cos i reckon ur fucking ugly

    Reply
    • Acadia

      I am actually an awesome looking dude!

      Reply

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