Friday Nineties – Cops: Too Hot for TV

Acadia Einstein


In Portland, Maine, the bars close at 1:00 AM.  So after things shut down, nine times out of ten my roommate and I would take a cab to the 7/11 that was also a Taco Bell for some reason.  Then we would go home to our apartment, sit on our couches (we each had a couch on our side of the living room) and watch Cops: Too Hot for TV.  The banner pic is from the video.  And it is the perfect representation of it.  A crappy video of a VHS tape on a TV.

All we had was VHS.  And it didn’t matter because honestly we had nothing to compare to.  I mean, CD’s were good, but tapes were pretty much just as good as long as you had a tape deck that knew when songs ended.  But all you needed to make the Cops tape awesome was to be drunk and have a lot of tacos.  We had a lot of people come to our apartment after Taco Bell and every single one of them watched the tape.  Can’t remember anyone who didn’t.  If there was it was prolly some dumb girl.

Years later I was in a meeting at work and something happened and I said PERIOD!  And this other guy I know said:  Period, Mother f***er!  And he was my best friend from then on.  This video will make that make sense.  Following will be other awesome parts of the tape.

Oh, and did you notice that the cops in the show never killed anyone?  Screw putting cameras on the cops.  Send the camera people WITH the cops.  It will create a bazillion jobs and we will get more awesome stuff like this.  Damn I am good at solving things!  Oh, and DO NOT miss the vampire near the bottom.  She’s gonna bitechoo.

I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in New York and Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Eight years and counting....


  1. Roger Sherman
    Roger ShermanReply
    July 25, 2015 at 9:02 am

    I distinctly remember an episode of cops where they made the cameraman wait outside, beat the shit out of some skinny little black dude, in his own house, then brought him outside, all fucked up, and said he fell.

  2. Joseph Bowley
    July 25, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    Stop Undulating Acadia

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