Seal – Kiss From a Rose

Acadia Einstein

Heidi Klum in GQ 2002 as Mena Suvari in American Beauty photographed by Mark Seliger for The Sex Goddess

I’m not going to lie.  I could.  I could tell you that I put that old pic of Heidi Klum in the banner because today is the anniversary of when she married Seal (in 2005).  But in reality I didn’t want to have to post a pic of the actual Seal because his messed up face scares me.  I know it is not his fault but the poor guy looks like he bought a home Edward James Olmos kit.  And honestly he had a hit song, married Heidi Klum (Heidi Klum Pics here and Heidi Klum Tongue Pics here) and even though they are divorced now they had the best Halloween costumes ever so whatever, guy.

And I bet if you were like me you thought there was ONE reason Seal had those scars but in fact there is a different one.  And from the looks of it, Seal’s face is a hot topic.  Look what Google says.


Jeez, Google.  Have a heart.  Stop showing me how horrible people are.  Take those offensive ones out and just leave:  “Why is seal’s face”.  That’s what I would ask him if I ever met him.  Hey, Seal, why is your face?  Then he would hit me with a bag of money and tell me stories about dirty stuff he did to Heidi Klum.  Well played, Seal.  Well played.


I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in New York and Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Eight years and counting....


  1. Dan Brill
    Dan BrillReply
    May 10, 2013 at 10:16 pm

    Being hit with a bag of money is considered very lucky in China. Marrying Heidi Klum is considered lucky everywhere.

  2. Dydan
    May 11, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    Every time my BF hears this song, he goes on this tirade about poor Seal and his messed up face, who wrote this song (for Heidi, he says but I think that may not be true) and then she ditched his ass. Don’t ask me why my white, non-fucked-up faced BF who isn’t dating Heidi Klum is identifying so strongly with Seal, but apparently Seal is his spiritual Bro.

    • Acadia
      May 11, 2013 at 10:58 pm

      I think everyone has a little Seal in them.

  3. Don Quikaung
    Don QuikaungReply
    May 13, 2013 at 11:52 pm

    I refuse to feel sorry for him just because his face is messed up. He got to do lots of dirty, dirty things to Heidi Klum without using choloroform. And for that, he is on my nemesis list.

Let us know what you think. Being on-topic is NOT required.