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Friday Nineties – The Long Island Lolita

Friday Nineties – The Long Island Lolita

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In a story with absolutely NO winners, Amy Fisher was a 16 or 17 year old Long Island chick who was banging / being statuatory raped by a grown man named Joey Buttafuoco (snicker).   So one thing led to another and she has someone drive her to the Buttafuoco abode and Mrs. Buttafuoco (yes I am going to say Buttafuoco as much as I can) answered the door and AMY FISHER SHOT HER IN THE HEAD!  Or the face.  I don’t remember.

buttafuocoAnyway,  Amy does porn now after going to prison for 7 years for shooting Mrs. Buttafuoco (who didn’t die) and Mr. Buttafuoco only did 6 months for humping a kid.  Like I said, no winners here.  Except for the made for TV movie business who did three.  I assume one for each network.

The whole thing was a huge deal for at least a year.  And there was NO positive anything that came out of it.  Nobody had a big protest about gun control.  Nobody that I remember even used it as a way to draw attention to chubby Long Island Guidos hooking up with teenagers.  It was just a big…ugh.

Not our finest hour, folks.  And I think it can be summed up best by the video below that Comedy Central played approximately once per hour for the entire year. Oh, and it gave me my favorite knock knock joke of all time that is like a secret handshake for Generation Xers.  Nobody else will get it.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Amy Fisher

Amy Fisher Wh–

BANG!

lol

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.

6 Comments

  1. Nico Toscani

    Too soon?

    Reply
    • Acadia Einstein

      No way – she has like a million porn scenes. I had to check for news research.

      Reply
  2. Nico Toscani

    Of course. Research.

    Reply
  3. Mark Miller

    I always get this story mixed up with Lorena Bobbitt….is that bad?

    Reply
    • Acadia Einstein

      Well, looks like next week’s topic has been chosen!

      Reply
  4. Joseph Bowley

    The Nineties Song-
    Kerrigan Harding Kerrigan Harding Kerrigan Harding
    Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco
    Macarena Macarena Macarena Macarena Macarena
    Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco
    Princess Di Princess Di Princess Di Princess Di Princess Di
    Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco
    OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ OJ
    Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco
    Monica Monica Monica Monica Monica Monica Monica
    Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco
    Apple Microsoft Dial Up Y2K Apple Microsoft Dial Up Y2K
    Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco Buttafuoco

    Reply

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