How hard is it to play musical instruments?  I mean really.  When I was in grammar school I had to play the “rhythm sticks” during music.  No joke.  Two sticks I was supposed to bang together.  I didn’t even get a triangle.  At least the triangle was an actual thing.  The kid with the triangle was playing a manufactured musical instrument.  I was playing two things you could find under a tree.  They might as well have given me a piece of bologna and a spoon and told me it was a “lunch gong”.

The reason I ask is that I think if there was ever a band I think I could have been in it it would be The Offspring.  The guy doesn’t really sing the songs.  He just kind of talks them.  It isn’t even rapping.  And the lyrics are probably something the guy actually said to someone once.  Probably most of the things I say could be songs.  Or poems.  I wish I understood anything about music.  I have no concept of how someone would invent a tune.  Wizards they are.  Or Communists.  Every song I ever tried to invent ended with me whistling the theme from Fat Albert.  Stupid brain.  Video after the HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY!  It’s FAAAAAAT  ALBERT.  DAMMIT!