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Friday Nineties – The Offspring – Why Don’t You Get a Job

How hard is it to play musical instruments?  I mean really.  When I was in grammar school I had to play the “rhythm sticks” during music.  No joke.  Two sticks I was supposed to bang together.  I didn’t even get a triangle.  At least the triangle was an actual thing.  The kid with the triangle was playing a manufactured musical instrument.  I was playing two things you could find under a tree.  They might as well have given me a piece of bologna and a spoon and told me it was a “lunch gong”.

The reason I ask is that I think if there was ever a band I think I could have been in it it would be The Offspring.  The guy doesn’t really sing the songs.  He just kind of talks them.  It isn’t even rapping.  And the lyrics are probably something the guy actually said to someone once.  Probably most of the things I say could be songs.  Or poems.  I wish I understood anything about music.  I have no concept of how someone would invent a tune.  Wizards they are.  Or Communists.  Every song I ever tried to invent ended with me whistling the theme from Fat Albert.  Stupid brain.  Video after the HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY!  It’s FAAAAAAT  ALBERT.  DAMMIT!

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.


  1. Instrument Of Torture

    as much as I agree that the Offspring don’t produce the music most difficult to play, you have to give them credit as their tunes are catchy, their lyrics relatable for teenagers and the Offspring overall are part of a nutritious breakfast…er…I mean part of a good adolescence *g*

  2. jethro

    ob-la-di ob-la-da


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