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Third Eye Blind – Jumper

Third Eye Blind – Jumper

Get it? Jumper? JUMPER?

On February 5, 2015, Friday Nineties will be five years old.  FIVE YEARS!  And there will be some changes on its birthday.  But in the meantime I was talking to someone about the column a little while ago and she just threw this song out there without blinking a (third) eye.  It occurred to me that there really are a ton of songs I haven’t gotten to yet and while I usually never let ANYONE pick the song, maybe I have been leaving a lot of good stuff on the table.

So I guess I am saying that I am officially saying that I will take requests.  Not that I expect there to be a million but hey, maybe there is a song you loved from back then that you want to have featured?  I can’t promise I will do them all (especially if I have never heard of it) but why not make it more of a communal project?  It’s not like I’m asking you to write the thing.  Because if I did you wouldn’t, would you?  Would you?  I guess let me know….

Or you can really help me by explaining how I forgot about this song so completely since 1998.  As soon as my friend mentioned it I remembered it but in between then and the last time I heard it in the 90s nothing.  Just a big blank space.  I wonder how many other songs like that are out there lurking.  What was I even doing in 1998?  Oh, I remember.

Or do I?  What if I am a murderer and don’t remember.  Or a car thief?  I guess one of those is way worse than the other but the principal is the same.  What if I have a mint Saturn somewhere in some storage unit in South Florida (I was either there or in Maine in ’98) that I could be driving right now?  What else is in that storage unit?  The possibilities are endless!

  • A bunch of Eddie Bauer clothes that won’t fit me now since I am so much…taller.
  • Some sweet CD ROM game that made you change discs in the middle of the action.  I had one of those once.  It was a live action mystery game and you had to change discs every two minutes.
  • 17 floppy disks that contained all the other computer information I had.
  • Lollapalooza ticket stubs.
  • A sweet Goldberg wrestling poster.
  • Proof that I was behind the death of Sonny Bono.
  • A long list of justifications for killing Sonny Bono.

OK so now this column is not just about songs from the 90s.  It is about me reclaiming the past stolen from me, and me trying to find the person who stole it.  And in order to help me do that, I guess recommend some songs I haven’t done that.  Or cut to the chase and tell me what happened to me in 1998, you monsters.

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.


  1. Dan Brill

    Did you ever do Banditos? Is there a concise list of what you have done?

  2. StayFray

    This is like a twist-a-plot book, which were always my favorite Schoolastic choices…..if you were a car thief, turn to pape 27. If you were a murderer, turn to page 40…..

    • Acadia Einstein

      I don’t know which page to go to. Maybe I stole a car and ran over someone with it.

  3. Cider

    OMG Banditos.


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