Right off the bat, yes I own a Miami Vice board game.  It is not currently super valuable but I have time and if you can find the thing you are holding onto on ebay it doesn’t count as hoarding…. Anyway it’s the NBA Finals so in honor of Miami getting pummeled so I thought it would be nice to feature Will Smith’s Miami.  Usually I think it’s cheap to write a song about a city because you know at least the people in that city will play it all the time.  But this one is good so I am fine making an exception.

Now, some of you might already know this but I used to live in Boca Raton, Florida which is not too far from Miami.  Here are some personal experiences.

  • The Dolphins once had a home playoff game blacked out.  Ponder that.  A PLAYOFF game could not sell out.  It was December.  That’s the only time of year you can even go outside in South Florida.  That’s how apathetic the fans there are.
  • I went to one Marlins’ game and it was so hot that we left in the third inning.
  • The Marlins have won two World Series’ and nobody in Florida even knows that.
  • South Beach is awesome.
  • South Beach is more awesome at night.
  • South Beach is the MOST awesome the night before the Super Bowl is played in Miami.
  • The night before the Super Bowl I walked from one club to another in Dennis Rodman’s entourage.  It was my friend, Dennis Rodman (he actually told us to come with them for some reason), like, 10 transvestites that were somehow taller than Rodman and me.  Of course, the club we went to let him and the tranny’s in for free but my friend and I were asked to pay the $75.00 cover.  We had it, but we weighed our options and we decided that paying $150.00 to lose girls to Dennis Rodman and/or have him and all his gigantor friends run a train on us was not the best use of our funds.  Still wonder what was going on in there, though.
  • People in South Florida are fond of saying that it is the only place in the world where you “have to drive north to get to the south”.  And they are right.

As for the song, you have to love all Will Smith ’90s songs.  I am just scratching the surface right now, but if you think about it, he OWNED non-threatening-sort-of-white-guy rap in that decade.  And this song has one of my favorite lyrics of all time in it.

Water to clear you can see to the bottom.
Hundred thousand dollar cars, everybody got em.

Enjoy the song and peruse the new gallery gizmo we have.  It works wayyy better than all the other ones and even if you hate the Heat you need to check in there and find the Easter Eggs I left.  There are a few pics in there than will fit perfectly into one line of Miami.  Find the line, find the pics, write your own song!  It’s like Mad Libs except with pictures.  GO SPURS!

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