Well folks, we’re effed.

It seems that we have some trouble coming, yes?


There’s no way I can perfectly sum up the episode and get every detail but let me see what I can do. First of all, Bran, in his magical creepy way, sends ravens north of the wall and sees the giant army of the dead heading to Eastwatch. That’s a problem. He sends ravens to warn people. I’m not sure how many he sends where, but we see that they get a notification in Old Town for one, as well as Dragonstone. This sets off a series of events as follows:

  • Jon Snow needs to convince everyone the White Walkers is real, and quick, or they won’t unite to fight them
  • Tyrion suggests he bring one to Cersei to show her
  • Jon sets off for the wall to do this
  • Tyrion sets off for King’s Landing to tell Jamie what is happening, and therefore to tell Cersei
  • Jon takes a ragtag bunch of people who hate each other beyond the wall on their mission

But there are some important notable moments to discuss.

Jon Snow pets Drogon

Now I will tell you right now I am feeling a little daft about this moment. I thought it was obviously important but in my head it was mainly about him coming to terms with the dragons being real, maybe him trusting Dany. But two other people pointed out to me that maybe Drogon is gentle with him because he is a Targaryen. Regardless of the reason, it’s a pretty important moment.

But before this moment…

Daenerys Burns Two Men Alive

Now, honestly, Tyrion seems pretty upset by this but I don’t really see the issue. They took up arms against her, she gave them a choice, and remember, they were fighting for Cersei. I mean… it’s war, right? I’m not a fan of war, generally, but I never understood why as soon as the official battle is over, you have to be nice-y nice. I support her use of Drogon’s punishment.

Bonus, that’s Sam Tarly’s mean dad and brother. They were jerks to him and he’s just such a good guy. So, literally, as I am known to say on Twitter, guys – die in a fire.

Sir Davos Retrieves Gendry

As the running joke online has been “Where’s Gendry? Is he still rowing?” I was delighted that Davos actually said that to him. This was a pretty cool moment, especially when Davos said, “well get your things ready -” and Gendry was like “I’m ready, let’s go right now. Here’s my bag. Done.”

I also appreciated that Davos was concerned that Gendry not tell Jon Snow who he was in case it might cause problems but he immediately announced “I’m Gendry, my father was Robert Baratheon” and the two of them are basically besties right off the bat. I hope this relationship proves useful and good somehow.

Cersei is Preggo

This is the most upsetting part of the entire episode, honestly. Stop acting like it’s OK to f*** your brother and bear his children you evil harpy. Ugh, worst.

Sam Misses Very Important Info From Gilly

Ugh, Sam, I know you’re frustrated, but maybe pay attention, you oaf. She’s just told you something pretty important, pal.

Here is what Twitter had to say about this moment:


Tyrion has Feels about Seeing Dead Lannisters?

Or something? I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a commentary on war, his conscience for being part of it, guilt because it’s “his house”, even though Cersei is objectively evil, or what. But I couldn’t really deal with his sad-facing it around the battlefield.

Littlefinger Manipulates Arya

I don’t like this one bit. Arya and Sansa both know he’s tricky as hell. I hope that whatever his diabolical plans are for turning them against each other using this note, that he led Arya directly to, he fails. Here is the note, and below the translation/deciphering:

King Robert is dead, killed from wounds he took in a boar hunt. Father betrayed Joffrey and tried to steal his throne. The Lannisters are requesting that you come to King’s Landing and swear fealty to King Joffrey and…[can’t read]
Your faithful sister,

Now, I’m pretty certain that is the note that Sansa sent under duress while she was captive in King’s Landing, to Robb, and his response was to go to war against the Lannisters. I don’t know really quite how much power Littlefinger thinks this holds over anybody so I’m trying to decide exactly what his plan was. I mean Arya most of all knows that Sansa had no choice in the matter and that you sometimes have to hide right under the devil’s nose to survive. She was serving wine to Tywin Lanniester FFS. I’m concerned because I don’t like that he seems to be playing her. I await her revenge.

Varys and Tyrion Have a Tete-a-Tete in the Throne Room

Tyrion is sad that Daenerys won’t “listen to” him. Of course, when she did, she lost two important battles so, you know. I again don’t really get what the angst is about here. I don’t have a problem with anything she’s done so far. I’m not sure why Tyrion and Varys are being such whiny babies about it. But anyway, apparently this hatches his suggestion to bring a zombie to King’s Landing, which I guess I think is a mostly good one.

Jon and Company Set Off Into the Wild

After establishing that everyone on the trip basically hates each other but they all have a reason to want to head out beyond the wall, they set out looking like a ragtag group of people who don’t wear hats or hoods for some reason. I’m a bit concerned about this crew, honestly. Also, let’s review one of my favorite moments, just prior to this, where Tormund asks Jon Snow who he’s brought with him, and adds, hopefully, “The big woman?” I can’t find a gif of that, so here’s a small flashback to a couple of episodes ago:

Jorah Mormont is back… and then gone

As quickly as he arrives to tell Dany he’s alive and back to serve her, he’s off to the north with Jon to help kidnap a zombie and show it to Cersei. Poor Jorah. (Except remember not to feel too bad for him, he was ostracized by his family for being a slaver. So.)

I’m pretty fired up for the last two episodes of the season. What do you think will happen with Jon et al? Will we see a White Walker in King’s Landing this season? Will Jon find out his true parentage? Will Arya and Sansa unite against Littlefinger? Will Bran do something useful FFS? Leave your comments below!