bieberetheonSpoiler alert: This is a recap of season four, episode two of Game of Thrones. We’re trying to avoid book spoilers but there’s no way to write a recap without spoilers so stop reading if you haven’t watched the episode.

Click here for the Superficial Gallery recap of the premiere episode of season four

That is ever the way. Tis all jealousy to the bride and good wishes to the corpse – James M. Barrie

James Barrie the author of Peter Pan was joking but George R.R. Martin can’t write a wedding without a death or two. George likes to step in and personally write those scripts  that he considers to be vitally important to the plot of Game of Thrones. This episode is one he chose to pen; The Lion and the Rose is chock full of subtle details that will probably have us hitting rewind years from now when a big reveal hits. The main event is what the book fans call the Purple Wedding. It’s one of those epic things that us readers have been biting our lips not to tell you TV people.

Good riddance to Joffrey. True to form the boy king was a sulky spoiled brat right up to his glassy eyed end in mommy’s lap. You had to feel a little bit sorry for Cersei but that bit with the dwarves enacting the Battle of Five Kings pretty much killed any residual empathy for her son. It’s a fairly short list of TV personalities that match the loathsome Joffrey: Thomas and O’Brian on Downton Abbey? Rosalind Shays? (she’s the one who fell down the elevator shaft on L.A. Law) Do we have to go all the way back to J.R. Ewing to find any kind of real competition?

The wedding was the thing but there was a great deal going on elsewhere. What kind of game are the Tyrell’s playing at? Did you see Lady Olenna stroke Sansa’s hair? That infamous missing black amethyst from Sansa’s hairnet.”War is war, but killing a man at a wedding — horrid,” says Olenna, did she or didn’t she poison the chalice? Only George R.R. Martin knows so far. The Tyrell’s have treasure and the good will of the people plus now the Lannister’s have lost their pet king. It’s a good thing they have a spare even if most viewers would be forgiven if they forgot little Tommen. As Littlefinger warned Ned Stark many episodes ago it just doesn’t pay to trust anyone in King’s Landing.


The real Jack Gleeson

Do you think those mothers who caused an upsurge in the use of the name Theon in the United States ever thought Theon Greyjoy would end the emasculated Reek? The Bolton’s with their flayed man sigil are the house that has learned to rule through terror and they’re very good at it. I almost felt sorry for the bastard of Bolton when daddy came home to put him in his place. He’s being sent on what amounts to a suicide mission but you can’t keep the bad ones down for long especially in Westeros.

Then there’s Stannis who thinks nothing of roasting his brother in law because he’s an infidel. In case you’re wondering it was Queen Selyse who’s ecstatic about souls flying free. The burnt man begging Stannis for mercy was her own  brother. She’s all for giving her own daughter to the fire as well despite the objections of Stannis. It is my personal opinion having observed the way that George R.R. Martin writes and his passion for cribbing from history that the deformed Shireen is going to be a pivotal character of this long epic story so keep your eye on that little girl.

The viewer misses Danaerys in these episodes where the Khaleesi is missing. There was that hint in Bran’s vision but the vision itself was loaded with enough detail to cause apoplexy in the obsessive fan: The three eye crow, Ned, Brann falling and the Iron Throne. The only clear thing in the whole vision was the dragon shaped shadow falling on King’s Landing and it’s hardly a secret that Danaerys is on her way home even if she’s taking her own good time about it.

Jack Gleeson who played Joffrey Baratheon has declared that  he’s done with acting. Jack has just returned from a trip to Haiti with the aid agency Goal where he worked to relieve the suffering caused by the 2010 earthquake. He really nailed the role though so it might take a lifetime of good works or his obituary will read first and foremost that he played that obnoxious rich kid with the giant crossbow. What do you think, are you going to miss the character that everyone loved to hate?