Just a quick word: I apologize for the Michael recap delay. It was both my fault, and the site admin’s. We were just testing your loyalty, really.
Anyway, here come the bulletpoints.

  • Will performs La Cucaracha for his Spanish class, during the period that conveniently includes the majority of the Glee club, including Santana, which I will get to later. The perfomance bombs, and Principal Figgins i
    nforms Willthere was a complain about his teaching, but won’t reveal the source.
  • Figgins mentions they are looking to give a faculty member tenure.
  • Since the school board finally caught on to the fact Will, their Spanish teacher, can’t speak Spanish, so he attends night school.
  • The night school Spanish teacher, David Martinez, is played by Ricky Martin.
  • Many teeth jokes occur.
  • Will invites David to sing sweet, sexy Spanish songs to his students, and he delivers a terrifying speech about how the Latinos are taking over the United States, but is also sexy enough that no one feels insecure in their impending minority label.
  • The incredible Coach Roz (Nene Leakes) makes a return. She tells Sue that she is a sucky cheerleading coach who is not edgy and uses obsolete choreography. Since the GLEE canon changes from episode to episode, this is suddenly true, despite the fact Sue has used pryotechnics and Top 20 songs in many of the Cheerios’ acts.
  • Sue is planning to have a baby out of nowhere, and wants one of the GLEE boys to provide her with sperm, because there are no parent/student barriers in McKinley (see my recap of Yes/No.)
  • Rachel tells Mercedes and Kurt that she is engaged, while Mercedes is conflicted between dating Shane or Sam. Polyamorous Tumblr users sigh deeply.
  • There is much ado about Emma’s quirky pamphlets, which were much better as a subtle background joke.
  • Emma advises Mercedes and Sam to stop talking to each other, so they have time to figure out their true feelings.
  • Kurt tries to talk Finn out of his engagement, but insists it is not because he’s still hoping for some stepbrother lovin’.
  • Sue asks Will for his sperm. Don’t even get me started on how far-fetched, spontaneous and out of character this plotline is. Just… don’t.
  • David performs a song with the Glee boys, and Santana asks Will when his performance is going to be. Will is all, “wait, what?” Santana says Will needs to defend his honor as a Spanish teacher.
  • It occurs to me the above plotline would be much, much funnier if done in the style of a telenovela.
  • At some point, Emma asks Sue why she is interested in Will’s sperm, and Sue answers with a 7th Heaven speech about Will’s kind heart.
  • At some point, Sue finds out there was a complaint about her teaching.
  • At some point, she accuses Santana of lodging the complaint.
  • Will and Emma have a fight about something.
  • Time for the Spanish teacher show down. What sincere, Latincentric songs do they sing?
  • David and Santana do La Isla Bonita, by blonde-haired Italian Madonna, and Will does A Little Less Conversation by Elvis, who was, y’know, a Jew.
  • Before I continue, I should probably acknowledge what a gaysplosion La Isla Bonita was: Ricky Martin, who is gay, doing a duet with Santana, who is gay, to the tune of Madonna? Gay, gay, gay. I love it.
  • Santana is incredibly pissed off by the fact Will did a good job with his song, but is also pissed off that he is dressed as a torero. He asks if she was the one who filed a complaint, and she says she did, and delivers a speech about his stereotypical representation of the Spanish community, his poor teaching in the Spanish class, and a bunch of other bullshit that was never an issue until this episode.
  • Quick question: why do you take Spanish class, Santana?
  • Emma got the tenure position due to her pamphlets.
  • Becky and Sue have a conversation, and Becky admits to filing the complaint against her.
  • Emma and Will make up via pamphlets.
  • The countdown til Mercedes and Sam can speak ends, and they meet, but then she walks off with Shane. Ruh oh!
  • Will gives David the Spanish teaching position, and himself the History teaching position that became open. Does he have the authority to do that? (No, he doesn’t.)

Again, this episode had about six seconds total of Dianna Agron, and she looked incredibly bored. This is sad… I feel like we’re watching the demise of Quinn happen very slowly in front of our eyes. Also dying with each episode? My interest in GLEE.
Next week: Valentine’s Day.