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God Pissed at People of Earth. Takes it out on Chile. Chile Suffers.

A spokesman for God declined comment.

One of the largest earthquakes in world history occurred today in Chile.  According to reports, this could be much worse than the recent earthquake in Haiti.  Though, to be fair, it will probably be easier in Chile to determine what the earthquake wrecked because it wasn’t all fucked up to begin with.

I assume that somewhere someone is writing down some calculations in one of those composition books and determining that this might be the end of days and that God has it in for us in a bad way.  I have decided to agree with these people and not even try to explain the seemingly harsh natural disasters that have been hitting us one after another as anything but Divine Anger.

Think about it this way:  there really isn’t anything that God can do to the planet that has not been done before.  It has been hit by asteroids, all the continents used to be one big fat continent, it has been covered with ice and at one point it had a baby (you know it as our moon).

So the EARTH will be fine.  It can shake and crack and land can fall into the ocean all it wants and it won’t care.  It doesn’t care about global warming or colding or anything.  All God can do is kill off people.  And it seems like he is doing it a lot lately.

So send vibes to people who survived in Chile.  And be nice to someone today.  Beause the next thing you know, you might have a building on your head and you don’t want the last thing you did before dying was to tell a cashier she was stupid.

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.


  1. bluzdude

    Wow… one more thing to worry about… My last words being something like, “Nice blinker, asshole!”
    .-= bluzdude´s last blog ..PunMaster B =-.

  2. Grampy

    Very good advice. I hope it doesn’t happen today. I just cussed out a truck driver.
    .-= Grampy´s last blog ..The Week Ahead =-.

  3. Nicky

    Wise words. I will never call the cashier stupid again. It’s the drooling, not-even-shit-for-brains, moron bagboy-who-dumped-the-10lb- ham-on-top-of-my-eggs, that will be my downfall. And the douche that just cut me off. And the useless tit at the bank. And…man, I am so screwed.

  4. Jerms

    Am I the only one that notices the increase in natural disasters as we head towards 2012?

  5. Evangeline

    Yes, Jerms, I believe you are the only one. What?

  6. Paul

    People shouldn’t be looking to the skies for the four horsemen whenever an earthquake hits, even a couple of them close together. Plagues and famine are a different story.
    .-= Paul´s last blog ..Morning Snow =-.

  7. Some Person

    This is why alcohol sales have soared in the last year and narcotics are abused more than ever. I blame my weed addiction on Armageddon. Let the bitch burn.




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