A spokesman for God declined comment.

One of the largest earthquakes in world history occurred today in Chile.  According to reports, this could be much worse than the recent earthquake in Haiti.  Though, to be fair, it will probably be easier in Chile to determine what the earthquake wrecked because it wasn’t all fucked up to begin with.

I assume that somewhere someone is writing down some calculations in one of those composition books and determining that this might be the end of days and that God has it in for us in a bad way.  I have decided to agree with these people and not even try to explain the seemingly harsh natural disasters that have been hitting us one after another as anything but Divine Anger.

Think about it this way:  there really isn’t anything that God can do to the planet that has not been done before.  It has been hit by asteroids, all the continents used to be one big fat continent, it has been covered with ice and at one point it had a baby (you know it as our moon).

So the EARTH will be fine.  It can shake and crack and land can fall into the ocean all it wants and it won’t care.  It doesn’t care about global warming or colding or anything.  All God can do is kill off people.  And it seems like he is doing it a lot lately.

So send vibes to people who survived in Chile.  And be nice to someone today.  Beause the next thing you know, you might have a building on your head and you don’t want the last thing you did before dying was to tell a cashier she was stupid.