As President of Twitter Knowledge at Superficial Gallery I feel it is my duty to share with you so me of the best moments on Twitter for the last week or so. Maybe even just the last few days. Because lord knows some of you people can’t even figure out what it is, so I’ll just pick and choose and explain to you, like you’re five. Here we go:
We only rate dogs. This is quite clearly a smol broken polar bear. We'd appreciate if you only send dogs. Thank you… 12/10 pic.twitter.com/g2nSyGenG9
— WeRateDogs™ (author) (@dog_rates) May 2, 2017
This Twitter account tweets pictures of dogs, typically rates them higher than 10/10, and is full of adorableness. I couldn’t really handle this “smol broken polar bear” pupper so please enjoy.
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." — FDR
"Nobody's safe. I mean, who's safe?" — DJT
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 1, 2017
Patton Oswalt is always a good read. This needs no further explanation, I assume.
HOLY DISCONNECT BATMAN https://t.co/47A1u3p6i1
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) May 1, 2017
Andy Richter is also always a good read. Sorry but you gotta click through to see what he’s commenting on here because Twitter.
— Acadia Einstein (@Acadia) May 1, 2017
This seems cheap because it’s Acadia’s tweet but it’s also really funny so I put it here anyway. FREE PUBLICITY! … wait…
when you find out that at least the American Right doesn't think you were a racist piece of shit pic.twitter.com/NXBsAx9gCa
— Randy Dicks, Monarch (@HuekahJohn) May 1, 2017
So in case you missed it, this week 45 declared that Andrew Jackson didn’t understand why the Civil War happened and that maybe if he had still been president it “never would have had to” have been fought. So nevermind he DIED BEFORE IT STARTED so he had zero thoughts about it – also, apparently he’s saying that we should still have slavery? Hmmmm.
shout out to all the Jackson fans, The Big-Hearted Genocidal Racist we all love to know
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) May 1, 2017
More of the same.
I wish Fresh Pizza met Raven Goth pic.twitter.com/7mz8zPnjXu
— nina matsumoto (@spacecoyotl) April 30, 2017
Do you know about fresh pizza woman and the goth with a raven? Well, now you do. Sadly, they appear to be on trains on two different continents but wouldn’t it be nice if they were friends? It would, I say.
— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) May 1, 2017
The kiss cam tried to get this guy to kiss his mom. Ha.
Pro tip: if you preface your comment with "no offense but" just stop typing
— Rhea Butcher🏳️🌈⚾️ (@RheaButcher) May 1, 2017
This is just a fact that applies always.
let’s all promise to meet back in a year and send another lot of rich people to a nightmare island
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) May 1, 2017
If you don’t know about #FyreFestival do yourself a favor and click that link.
Not taking any chances pic.twitter.com/PH1tq5Qd3N
— jordy (@Zrowable) April 29, 2017
This is just pure twitter gold. Poor MattyBRaps. Wait, hold on a hot second – a teenybopper wannabe rapper named MattyBRaps is Twitter verified and I’m not, despite being a podcaster and news reporter of some acclaim? I object. (Shhhhhh, I didn’t say how much acclaim.)
— NBC4 Columbus (@nbc4i) April 29, 2017
….wait for it:
"This….'food'….you organics consume this, yes?" https://t.co/jFWxTy82KO
— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) April 30, 2017
And there you have it, I hope you have enjoyed Great Moments in Twitter, curated by Cider.