Select Page

Gwyneth Paltrow is Fancy. You? Not So Much.

For a while after I saw The Avengers I liked Gwyneth Paltrow again.  I didn’t think too much about why but thinking back maybe it’s just tough to be mad at anyone when Hulk is around.  But now Hulk is gone and I am back to hating her.  Why?  Because she is trying to sell makeup by acting like she doesn’t like to wear makeup.  She is doing ads for Max Factor which is not a person but a makeup company.  And blah blah seriously I can’t even stomach talking about it too much.  Apparently she has “personas” in the commercials.  And not fun ones like on Benny Hill.  Just read this about the “writer” persona.

The writer persona is me going into town for a lunch or into London for a meeting or going to a friend’s house for dinner. Or me when I’m most myself, doing something creative, having a look that says, confidence, creativity but still very much who I am.

I can’t even say anything about it.  The pretentiousness came out of my screen and suffocated me.  And now I’m dead.  Happy, Gwyneth?  Do you feel good now?  Are you glad you needed more money to buy fancy baby food from the moon so you had to be a hack and do commercials but you still managed to be smug about it which made my heart stop?  Well congratulations.  It worked.  Now the only thing that can save me is a picture of really bored Bill Clinton…


That was close.  Gwyneth Paltrow, you are horrible.  I don’t know if I could keep from hating you now if you came riding in on Hulk’s back.

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.


  1. Whitney

    Plus one for sticking Bill at the end. Made me smile.

    • Acadia

      Best Comment of the Post!

  2. Rog

    Gwenyth, you filthy, vile slut. STOP TRYING SO HARD TO BE A 20 YEAR OLD MULTI-ETHNIC GIRL!!! You’re a white 40 year old.

    Remember that shit, bitch.

  3. catwiththumbs

    I would like her more if I knew she cleaned her own bathroom, or dusted, or took out the garbage. Naked. At my house. Tomorrow.

    • Eva Halloween

      I’m just going to stick her in the “maybe if you just don’t talk” category with poor, probably insufferable Scarlet.

  4. Julie@Momspective

    Reminds me of the homeless Brad Pitt in those Chanel commercials.


Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Enter your email address to subscribe to this site and get all the goods stuff by email.

Join 4,373 other subscribers

Horrible Links!

Gallery Discord

%d bloggers like this: