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Happy President’s Day

Since you can’t go to the bank or the post office today, sit back and giggle at these stupid Presidential jokes!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?
A: Ape Lincoln!

Q: Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?
A: He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill.

Q: What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?
A: Babe Lincoln!

Q: Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?
A: After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!

Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?”
Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”

Q: Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?
A: To keep his head warm!

Q: What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?
A: Abraham Stincoln!

Q: Why was Abraham Lincoln barn in a log cabin?
A: Because it was too cold to be born outside!

Q: Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?
A: They’re both on the (s)cent!

Q: Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?
A: Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons.

Q: Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
A: Because he couldn’t lie.

Q: What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?
A: Presidentures!

Q: What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?
A: George Washingtoon!

Q: Was General Washington a handsome man?
A: Yes, he was George-eous!

Q: How did George Washington speak to his army?
A: In general terms!

About The Author

6 Comments

  1. Agnes

    That picture is priceless.

    p/s: BTW — love the new look (referring to the blog’s face lift).

    Reply
  2. One of The Guys

    My kids would love these. I agree with Agnes on both accounts. That sums up George Bush and his gang in one pic. Too funny!

    Slick new design!

    Reply
  3. Jen

    My kids have been rattling these off all day. Great minds think alike.

    Reply
  4. The One

    What do you get when you elect a Bush? … A hairy pussy.

    Reply
  5. Buggys

    I burst out laughing at the picture. Perfection.

    Reply
  6. RE/MAX Ohio

    Love the photo…

    Reply

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