Since you can’t go to the bank or the post office today, sit back and giggle at these stupid Presidential jokes!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?
A: Ape Lincoln!

Q: Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?
A: He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill.

Q: What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?
A: Babe Lincoln!

Q: Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?
A: After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!

Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?”
Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”

Q: Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?
A: To keep his head warm!

Q: What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?
A: Abraham Stincoln!

Q: Why was Abraham Lincoln barn in a log cabin?
A: Because it was too cold to be born outside!

Q: Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?
A: They’re both on the (s)cent!

Q: Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?
A: Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons.

Q: Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
A: Because he couldn’t lie.

Q: What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?
A: Presidentures!

Q: What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?
A: George Washingtoon!

Q: Was General Washington a handsome man?
A: Yes, he was George-eous!

Q: How did George Washington speak to his army?
A: In general terms!