So we start off with the typical “I’m going to Hell’s Kitchen” response from all the contestants. They board a bus and they drive around the city. They suck champagne. They get hair and makeup done at the Orpheus Theater. There is the sound of a packed house, crowd cheering. Everyone is excited and the curtain goes up. They all then realize:
“Holy crap! I’m in HELL, or rather Chef Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen!
In typical fashion, he starts off his relationship with his new contestants on a high note:
By berating the hell out of them.
“What did you expect? Standing ovations? Really? Resumes mean nothing.”
Yeah, they’re in for it.
I have to wonder if the producers seek out the most narcissistic, self-deluded individuals for this show. I know chefs. They have an ego. They need to. For what the chefs I know earn, they take crap day in and day out. Their ego prevents them from collapsing into a self-despising downward spiral of self-doubt and despair. These fools are trying to win a $250,000 job in BLT Steak in NYC. These folks are just fooling themselves cause they’re sure not fooling anyone else. Especially Chef Ramsey. Sure, he’s a pompous git. Sure, he’s over the top. He’s earned the right to be. Is he an ass? Sure. It’s his show and his rules. Anyone who comes into this contest believing otherwise is already on their way out the door before they even pick up a knife and stab themselves in the back.
This year’s idiots contestants “chef-testants” are:
The members of the Red Team (Women) include:
Elizabeth Bianchi
Age: 27
Occupation: Line Cook
Hometown: New York, NY
Signature Dish: Pan-Roasted Quail
Natalie Blake
Age: 23
Occupation: Sous Chef
Hometown: Harrodsburg, KY
Signature Dish: Lamb Chops
Amanda Colello
Age: 26
Occupation: Personal Chef
Hometown: Sun City, CA
Signature Dish: Eggplant Rollatini with Creamy Polenta
Jamie Gregorich
Age: 24
Occupation: Sous Chef
Hometown: Bradenton, FL
Signature Dish: Lollipop Lamb Chop with Red Onion Confiture
Carrie Keep
Age: 31
Occupation: Pantry Chef
Hometown: Dallas, TX
Signature Dish: Chicken-Fried Rib Eye with Yukon Mashed Potatoes and White Truffle Cream Gravy
Gina Melcher
Age: 34
Occupation: Restaurant Consultant
Hometown: Cape May, NJ
Signature Dish: Pistachio Scallops
Jennifer Normant
Age: 34
Occupation: Chef de Cuisine
Hometown: Boston, MA
Signature Dish: Special Secret Pork with Mashed Sweet Potatoes
Krupa Patel
Age: 30
Occupation: Private Chef
Hometown: Queens, NY
Signature Dish: Stuffed Naan with Cilantro Chutney
Elise Wims
Age: 26
Occupation: Line Cook
Hometown: Pittsburgh, PA
Signature Dish: Pesto Seared Scallops with Sautéed Escarole
The members of the Blue Team (Men) include:
Chino Chang
Age: 39
Occupation: Executive Chef
Hometown: Hatboro, PA
Signature Dish: Korean BBQ Beef
Brendan Heavey
Age: 31
Occupation: Head Chef
Hometown: Hoboken, NJ
Signature Dish: Salmon with Basil Cream Sauce
Monterray Keys
Age: 34
Occupation: Line Cook
Hometown: Darby, PA
Signature Dish: Pan-Seared Sea Bass
Will Lustberg
Age: 31
Occupation: Sous Chef
Hometown: Jersey City, NJ
Signature Dish: Sheep’s Milk Ricotta Gnudi
Paul Niedermann
Age: 26
Occupation: Jr. Sous Chef
Hometown: Davie, FL
Signature Dish: Eggplant Involtini
Steven Paluba
Age: 44
Occupation: Sauté Chef
Hometown: Ridge, NY
Signature Dish: Seared Diver Scallops with Wild Mushroom Risotto
Jonathon Plumley
Age: 34
Occupation: Head Cook
Hometown: Memphis, TN
Signature Dish: Punch-Drunk Chicken
Tommy Stevens
Age: 31
Occupation: Line Cook
Hometown: Brewster, NY
Signature Dish: Toasted Coconut Crab Cake
Jason Zepaltas
Age: 29
Occupation: Line Cook
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Signature Dish: Pork Tacos
Results of the night: Men’s team wins the first round and go out to dinner. They have a fun time. Ladies’ team loses, has to clean both kitchens. The bitching starts immediately. The next day, Jason hyperventilates while getting the day’s dishes ready. He’s out. Done. First man down.
BAM! (to borrow a phrase).It only goes downhill from there. Wrong orders, burnt entrees, rice pudding risotto, and chefs falling down on the job throughout the service. I’d be amazed if these chefs would even be able to work at a summer camp cooking hot dogs and hamburgers. In the end, the Blue team ends up two chefs down and Steven is gone Day 1.
More from David Sobkowiak:
You have to wonder if those “chefs” have ever seen Gordon Ramsey before. I love that show but why do they act shocked when he spits out food and tosses around plates of food? He does that every episode! I am convinced that the producers don’t look for cooking ability as much as to look for ego and stupidity. And that blonde who called herself a rock star? If she was referring to a fifth grade prodcution of Godspell then yes, I’m sure she stood out.
I want Pork Tacos. They better have been good!
Wait this guy made a lollypop out of lamb chops?
I just finished this eppy. That Brandon guy is going to get kicked in the nads.
You put a ton of effort into watching tv. That’s admirable.
I want a celebrity death match with Bobby Flay and Gordan Ramsay. Each of them has a kitchen knife and must carve serve and prepare the other to keep their inane TV show. The winner goes on to slaughter all the other inane Food TV show hosts till they get to Anthony Bourdain who will just put the one left standing gently out of his or her misery. BAM!
Why you gotta hate on people but not Bourdain?