Ho ho ho! I know all you anti-Semites are probably mad that we haven’t posted anything about Santa. So here we go. In the latest technological innovation, the Internet has harnessed the power of boredom to create the Santa Tracking Page! Granted, for most of the year there is just a blinking dot at the North Pole (except for two weeks in August when he goes to Vegas and shacks up with a call girl) now is the time to check it out. Here are some of the things you can do!
- Show your kids and use it as a way to make them go to bed.
- Watch Santa whiz over the Muslim countries with barely a stop!
- Try to figure out what China allows Santa to do.
- Wonder why we cannot use the same technology to find Bin Laden.
- Put your arm around your significant other, look at each other, smile sweetly, turn off the computer and make that night’s safety word: Kringle.
Merry Christmas, sinners!