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Idiot Sightings–Happy April Fool’s Day!

far-side-school-for-gifted
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a large enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4  horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, ‘No, it’s not. Four is larger than two.’

We haven’t used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window, and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.’ She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the  quarter and said, ‘We’re sorry, but we cannot do that kind of  thing.’ The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!  I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing  anymore.’

From  Kingman, KS
More idiots after the jump!
My  daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the  person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’  He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,  ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’  To  which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’  He  smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

Happened in Birmingham , AL

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’

She is a probation officer in Wichita , KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker (She was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing’) our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun.  We should do this more often.’ Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself, and for the sake of her life couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘It’s open!’

He replied, ‘I know. I already got that side.’

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

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5 Comments

  1. Barry

    There are idiots everywhere

    Reply
  2. Carl

    I gave up on the change thing with any store long time ago, because they always looked at me like I had one eye and three noses.

    Reply
  3. PelvicBoogie

    I like to pay with $2 bills and dollar coins. Someone put a newspaper article on digg the other day. Someone called the newspaper Speakout and stated that they couldn’t understand hunters who killed animals for food. That they should buy the meat made at the store, where no animals were harmed.

    Reply
  4. loolpooq

    The Far Side 🙂

    Reply
  5. Angelika

    You have a High Five waiting for you HERE. 🙂

    Reply

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