AHH HA HAAAA! I'M CONTROVERSIAL!
OK, so today some little kid in a school told Michelle Obama that her mother “didn’t have any papers”. And the First Lady, sworn to uphold the law, sent the Secret Service to the little girl’s house and deported her mom. Wait. No. Just kidding. She gave some sort of “WTF! I was supposed to be talking about fat kids!” answer. And I don’t blame her. How the fuck do you respond to that? Here are some inappropriate ways. I leave it to you people to decide cause nobody ever likes my political ideas.
Things Michelle Obama could have said to the poor little worried kid.
- There are five million kids like you, whose parents are illegal. But since you were born here, you’re American. If we make your parents citizens, then we are rewarding fucking and that does not seem right.
- If we deport your parents, wtf do we do with you? I don’t know! I’m not CONGRESS!
- Come to think of it…you are in school. What are you complaining about? It’s not like you’re hiding in an attic.
- I’m not answering you because you are skinny. This is about fat kids.
- Our only plan to find illegal aliens is to storm every restaurant kitchen sink, lettuce field and…sidewalk in front of Home Depot in America.
- The President of Mexico better STFU and get to work on making a country that people want to STAY in.
So – immigration, like most things, is complicated. I personally think it would be funny if we sent all the immigrants to one state. Alaska has the lowest population density, so send them all there. They can be trappers or gold miners or governor or whatever. Then I also think it would be funny if we just took 20 million other random people, citizens, and send them to Mexico. We could even take volunteers. I mean, not in the town where all the drug wars are (Miami) but in the cool parts.
Or we can bitch about things until someone decides to give everyone another do-over and offer everyone citizenship. All they have to do is go to the Post Office and get fingerprinted and then they can be American citizens. Then we immediately put them in the Army and make them go find Osama Bin Laden. You figure if we have 20 million people in our Army we will win for sure. Yep. Solid plan. Way better than the manatee oil plan.
I am sort of conflicted on this issue myself. Not because I think illegal immigration is tolerable or a good thing, but because it is just so freakin’ out of control. Part of me says, document them, tax them. the least you will get is social security and medicare deductions from whatever income they make. that is not chump change if 30 million are working and they are pay 100 bucks a month.
Other part says, fuck em and deport em. We do, contrary to our current president’s commentary, actually have borders and they serve a purpose. I mean if we are gonna ignore em lets annex canada and mexico as 51 and 52 and tax the shit out of them like the do me!
ugh
.-= Demurejen´s last blog ..Nothing Says Class Like… =-.
Step away from the Canadian border, please.
.-= Drew Beatty´s last blog ..So confused right now =-.
The French do something like this- the French Foreign Legion. If you can show up at the recruiting office, you qualify. If you survive training, you’re in. If you survive five years of service, you’re French.
Alaska isn’t a good destination. They pay people to live there. Negative income tax. A few million extra people wouldn’t be good for the government coffers. On the other hand, letting a few million people work legally and pay taxes for stuff they’re already doing doesn’t sound so bad!
.-= Steve´s last blog ..May 19 – Franklin Expedition – Fact of the Day (No Comments) =-.
Things are just so freekin out of control. Why did we make borders in the first place? I think we should adopt the standards of other countries with borders–step over the line and you get a bullet in your head. After a short while that should slow the influx of the GD Criminals(not illegal immigrants).
As for the Criminals who are already here, no amnesty. Round them up, Load up C-4 cargo planes, do a flyover, and push them out the hatch. With a Chute of course.
By the way, I like the way you think. Every consider a run for some office?
Peace, Love, and Understanding–Elvis Costello
I may be a liberal, but since nothing’s being done about the problem, I’d be content to see the right wing enforce all the immigration laws. Including targeting the employers with the kind of attention usually reserved for 7 figure lobbyists – after all, you have to enforce all the laws, right.
Either they’re right and rigorously enforcing our laws is the answer. Or they’re not and the coming shit-storm will just happen sooner than it would have otherwise. I know which one I’d put my money on.
I wish the solution to the problem was that cut and dry. I live in Arizona at the heart of the debate and listen to both sides of the arguement on a daily basis. Hope everything gets worked out and we can progress as a nation.
Dude. DooD! DUDE! Despite laughing my ass off over this post, and thinking that you should run for office, I can’t help but be just as conflicted as everyone else on the issue. E.G.T. is right. If the laws are just, enforce them until meaningful, appropriate change can be made. If they’re not, change them and make some sort of interim plan. Either way, there’s going to be a shite storm just shy of the new Machete movie. Get ready for a wild ride!
.-= David Sobkowiak´s last blog ..So much time, so little to do… =-.
This is a buy one, get one free thing. Buy Canada, get Mexico free? Kinda like the bra thing?
Wait a tick..
Enforcement of current laws is necessary, and reform is necessary. What a mess. How does the First Lady respond to that kind of innocent remark and not sound bad?