Important News – Jessica Biel not Infallible

Acadia Einstein

Jessica Biel went out somewhere last week with her husband Justin Timberlake after losing a high stakes game of Jenga which apparently forced to her be seen in public dressed as a robot stripper school marm.

This breaks a streak for Mrs. Timberlake in which she wore the following ridiculous outfits and still looked great:

  • A barrel like a cartoon poor guy.
  • Batman armor.
  • That Bjork dress that looked like a swan.
  • An actual swan.
  • Bjork (as a scarf)
  • Those dumb poofy dresses she wore in that magician movie.

And after the jump, the two worst things she ever wore that were STILL better that weird “French Maid from the Matrix” thing she has going on in the pic above.

Sad Catwoman needs some cigs

Sad Catwoman needs some cigs.

Better, no?

Better, no?

I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in New York and Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Eight years and counting....


  1. UnFormedHeart
    March 18, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    I didn’t know they were married lol

  2. stacyfrazer
    March 18, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    But she’s still Mrs. Timberlake.

  3. hoodchick
    March 18, 2013 at 11:29 pm

    I must have those zebra slippers!

  4. alex
    March 19, 2013 at 12:00 am

    “French maid from The Matrix” actually sounds like a pretty awesome costume contest idea.

  5. Dan Brill
    Dan BrillReply
    March 19, 2013 at 12:11 am

    In the first picture, I wondered how she got that collar so white. By the last picture I knew. Borax.

    Thanks, Superficial Gallery. I always learn something here.

  6. Dan Brill
    Dan BrillReply
    March 19, 2013 at 12:13 am

    Also, is JT starting to look more like Bruce Willis?

  7. Dydan Waters
    March 19, 2013 at 9:34 am

    Meh. I know a lot of people who are way into her (besides JT, that is) but everything about her just says MEH.

  8. cider76
    March 19, 2013 at 10:21 am

    It’s kind of a problem for me that links weren’t provided for the other photos mentioned (most of them). I am especially interested in the barrel.

  9. Amber
    March 19, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    and SHE is with JT?! Doesn’t make sense to me. He could do so much better *sigh* Maybe she could hire me to dress her!

    • Acadia
      March 20, 2013 at 8:01 am

      You sound like you are volunteering. He IS dreamy.

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