OK, so after the jump Jaime Pressly is all ruined and mug-shotty. Not Nick Nolte ridiculous but also not Lindsay Lohan hot. It’s just an unflattering, drunken mugshot. Her face, normally the envy of all of the other women who look like ducks, lost all of its ducky goodness and she sort of looks like an old west undertaker.
Why am I picking on Jaime? Because. There is no fucking reason that someone who is hot (at least to other ducks), famous and presumably wealthy enough to call a frigging cab should get a DUI! Now before you click over to see how shitty she looks, let’s think of a few things she could have done differently to avoid this:
- Ridden a bike. I don’t think it matters how shithoused you are if you are on a bike.
- Gotten someone to drive her home. If a drunken Jaime Pressly asked you to drive her home, would you say no? Yeah she has a husband but still, maybe the husband is a weirdo who likes to watch. Or would give you 50 bucks and cab fare home.
- Gotten someone to drive her wherever she went in the first place. I’ve only been on TV twice that I know of and even I could get someone to drive me to someplace I knew I was going to get drunk at.
- Bribe the cop with something. Sex, money, sex money. I mean, you would think she would have to have a fairly fancy car. And also a mouth. Seems like a no-brainer to me. Give the cop something.
Anyway – after the jump you can see jailbird duck. And if reading celebrity gossip rags has taught me anything, it is that because she is a celebrity and lives in California, nothing will happen to her. Nothing at all.
1. Can’t you get a DUI on a bike?
2. I need a glossary of Acadia female description terms.
3. It took me five minutes to figure out this is the woman from My Name is Earl
4. Acadia’s Bullet list fetish has rubbed off on me
5. Maine has a tough drunk driving law. They mostly arrest stars from Stephen King movies.
6. Does Kate Mara have a duck face?
Post some photos of Kate Mara. Does she have a face like a duck?
I know someone who got a DUI on a skateboard!
I so don’t know who Kate Mara is that I think we could probably get HER instead of just pictures of her.
I thought you knew EVERY cute girl in Hollywood!
You can get a DUI driving a power boat and a snow mobile ’round these parts.. unless of course your duck hot.
I think I remember someone getting a DUI on a riding lawnmower.