- Pad THESE mice, Jennifer Love Hewitt told Melzer nonsensically.
In a stunning turn of events, and as testimony to the fact that people seem to not really give a shit about mouse pads, James Melzer won the Mouse Pad by being the 6015th comment ever on the site.
Proof!
Melzer seemed to use a “I didn’t know there was a contest” type strategy as he commented on a completely different post. For the rest of the Internet, it seems nobody had the ability to read, type or count. Or at least they couldn’t string the three things together at the same time. But what the hell!
Melzer, come on up and tell everyone how you feel about this exciting prize!
Good! Now I wont be afraid to post anymore…
that’s nice. a prize for giving a comment! when will the next prize be, i wonder..
“it seems nobody had the ability to read, type or count. Or at least they couldn’t string the three things together at the same time. ”
Now, that just made me LOL really hard! Maybe it’s because I’ve met people that that does actually apply to… 🙂
thanks for the laugh and congrats to your winner! 😀
If I had only figured out how to count.. you didnt tell us we would get our ‘pic’ with JLH.. geesh, I would have studied more!!
I am the true winner – peruse the original contest post – it is obvious to the most casual observer.
Had the powers that be not relied on suspect FIFA judging, I would be enjoying my fancy new mousepad right now.
First off, I’d like to thank the folks at Superficial Gallery for giving me the opportunity to win this awesome prize! When I heard that is was a mouse pad, I almost fainted. It was clear what my strategy would be early on, and that’s WIN AT ANY COST. I didn’t care who I had to step on, or what babies I had to abort that could eventually beat me to the 6015th comment. My motto is WIN! WIN! WIN!
I’d also like to thank JLH, whose amazing boobies kept me going when I felt like the possible was impossible. They picked me up in more ways than one, and made me realize that the dream was possible. God bless you, JLH.
Finally, I’d like to thank all the losers. It’s people like you that make winning look easy. So…SUCK IT!
I shall cherish the mouse pad for the rest of my live long days. Even though I don’t have a mouse. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
A hollow victory, tainted forever with the stain of favors bought and sold – the trusting masses left on the stoop to wonder what wheels of graft grind away in secret, robbing them of their one fleeting moment above the relentless, putrid muck of the anonymous web.
For shame!
Lets be honest here, Melzer, you owe a lot to your own nipple play. It kept your primed and on top of your game.
And seriously, that pic of Melzer on JLH’s boobs made me spit soda out. That’s hysterical.
Alright, I’m going to come right out and say it.
1. I think I was robbed, and
2. I think this contest was fixed.
Point one: I’ve been out of town since July 1st and just returned last night. You should have known holding a contest over a holiday weekend would mean that I, Mrs. Orpheus, could not compete.
Point two: I’ve done a little investigation here and I find it suspect that you have been included in an anthology by Jenny Bean and that Ms. Bean is engaged to…
James Melzer!
(Suspenseful music plays in the background as the onlookers stand by in shock.)
I rest my case.
Watch out, Nancy Drew!