Pad THESE mice, Jennifer Love Hewitt told Melzer nonsensically.

In a stunning turn of events, and as testimony to the fact that people seem to not really give a shit about mouse pads, James Melzer won the Mouse Pad by being the 6015th comment ever on the site.

Proof!

Melzer seemed to use a “I didn’t know there was a contest” type strategy as he commented on a completely different post.  For the rest of the Internet, it seems nobody had the ability to read, type or count.  Or at least they couldn’t string the three things together at the same time.  But what the hell!

Melzer, come on up and tell everyone how you feel about this exciting prize!