You know what stinks?  We don’t get to do enough interviews.  I mean, I yell questions at people all the time and pretend I don’t know how to get to Golden Corral and ask people and record their answers but it isn’t the same.  Apparently places like “Us Magazine” get to do interviews.  They did one with Jessica Biel.  Of course they just asked her stupid questions about her stupid husband Justin Stupidlake, particularly about her possibly acting with him.

“I would [act with him] if it was the right thing,” the New Year’s Eve star explained. “I’m not sure what the right thing is. I think you have to be very careful about working with your partner. But that would be so much fun; I absolutely adore him. I actually would prefer him to direct me in something. I think that would be the way to go.”

Suuuure.  Get your MySpace-owning, singing, dancing smilin’ laughin’ jokin’ around TV and movie star husband to get you a job.  That will make you so much more relatable.  Look how great it was for Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds.  See, the regular schleps (not me, I’m a fancy magnate) don’t really want to see these fairy-tale match ups.  Unless you get drunk and fight all the time like Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton or look like cute ugly midgets like Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito we pretty much think you can take your fancy lives and shove it.

Now if you marry some nobody doctor or real estate jerk then we can sort of deal with it.  But anything higher than that and we get bothered.  You are currently in a movie with Anthony Hopkins, Scarlett Johansson, Helen Mirren and Anthony Hopkins.  So I guess doing that isn’t fun enough for you.  You want fun?  Marry someone who works for the Gallery.  You could have fun wondering if  anyone was going to comment on your post.  Or if anyone even read it…