Editor’s Note: Sometimes the staff takes advantage of the new “Hey you added me to Google Plus so now you are in my chat list even though I don’t know who you are”.  This is one of those times.  Just think, if you hoop all of us, some day YOU could be Kirk! — Acadia

me: hi kirk.

Sent at 3:33 PM on Friday

me: today I had some toast with my eggs.
which were over medium.
i used to think i liked sunny side up eggs.
because whenever you hear people on TV order eggs.
they always order them this way.
but I am not like TV people.
because sunny side up eggs are disgusting
they are slightly runny still.
that white part?
not cooked.
i almost puked my guts out.
once i asked the waitress, tell me
these are what i like my eggs to look like
what is that exactly?
she said, OH well you like your eggs over medium.
and made me some new ones.
ever since.
i know what i like in regard to my eggs.

Sent at 3:37 PM on Friday

me: PLZ SHOW U FEET

Sent at 3:43 PM on Friday

me: the toast was kinda dry.
i like mine with a lot of butter
you know, smeared all over the bread.
but you have to get all the way to the edge.
or else, wtf are you doing, amirite?
i use it to dip IN my eggs
but only half.
the other half i use to put my dried up yolk portion ON the bread,
then i chomp it down like PacMan gnawing on some good pills.
or ghosts.
he likes those things, ghosts and pills.
also what, power pills?
i dont play a lot of PacMan
more a SuperBreakout kinda person.
but you know, I can play, I just choose not to.
my toast also has to be proportional to my bread.
we like a 1:1 ratio for this.
see what I did there?
usin’ maths.
not really.
i am just hoping that made sense.
i dont really dig on crusts.

Sent at 3:52 PM on Friday

me: PLZ SHOW U FEET

Sent at 3:56 PM on Friday