Below is a pretty boring video about Labor Day and how it started. You can watch it if you want. If you do, you will learn that president Grover Cleveland was faced with a strike by important workers much like Ronald Reagan was in the 1980’s. When the Air Traffic Controllers went on strike, Reagan broke the strike by firing the striking workers. Everyone got all moist thinking about how tough Regan was. All Grover Cleveland did was send in troops and shoot his strikers. What a pussy.
My Labor Day origin story, which you won’t see in the video, centers around a little girl named Penelope, three dogs and a submarine. It’s the real story and I want to make sure that at some point today when you are at your dorky picnic or whatever, you honor Penelope and the true meaning of the holiday. To do it, raise whatever you are drinking and say: Here’s to you, Penelope. Dive Deep and shoot three dogs for freedom. Lipstick, barns and banjos for America. Woof! Woof! Huzzah! (I realize that may seem silly, but trust me, it is authentic).
Anyway – Happy Labor Day. I hear that lakes are good places to go. So go there. Ans watch the video. And then take a peek at Eva Mendez down there. She has nothing to do with Labor day, but whatever.