The Macarena?  Am I serious?  Damn right I am.  Because for one wonderful moment it was the coolest thing in the world.  One time for a variety of fucked up reasons I was at 8-Trax, the 70’s themed bar/club at Disney’s Pleasure Island and completely shit-faced.  Read that sentence a few times.  There was a long weird story that got me there and the story after the Macarena part was even fucked-upper than that!  But this is a story about the Macarena.

Ok, so I was at this club and so was Mariah Carey.  She has nothing else to do with the story but if you were wondering she says “hello” like a normal person but she is also a midget.  So after that part I was on some stairs, or it may have been a hot air balloon but I was up in the air above the dance floor.  And it was wicked packed.  Like, WICKED packed.  And then for some reason I was on the dance floor and then all of a sudden the Macarena came on.  Yeah, I know it was supposed to be a 70’s place but I’m not the frigging DJ.  Anyway everyone dancing just all about-faced like one of those parades in front of the Kremlin and started Macarening.  In unison.  Even me.

But the weirdest part was that there is one part where you have to put your arms in front of you and there were so many people you had to put your arms in front of the person in front of you.  Why does it matter?  Well, cause even though I was shit-faced and doing the Macarena and there were like, 500 girls and the only guys were Mariah Carey’s body guards, my buddy and me I STILL had the presence of mind to go back into the balloon and look at it from above.  It was really cool looking.  All choreographed.  And as far as I can tell it went on for like, 78 hours.  Later that night I puked and some other stuff.

But the point of the story is that the song is in another language and the girls in the video all look hot for three seconds if you squint.  Except the tranny in the front.  What’s his deal. Video and, pointless though it is, lyrics after the jump.

Los del Rio – Macarena

When I dance they call me Macarena
And the boys they say que soi buena (?)
They all want me, they can’t have me
So they all come and dance beside me
Move with me, jam with me
And if you’re good I’ll take you home with me

Da le a tu cuerpo alegria macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa darle alegria y cosa buena
Da le a tu cuerpo alegria macarena
Eeeeeh, Macarena – ay

Da le a tu cuerpo alegria macarena …

Now, don’t you worry ’bout my boyfriend
The boy whose name is Vittorino
Ha, I don’t want him, couldn’t stand him
He was no good so I … (giggle)
Now come on, what was I supposed to do
He was out of town, and his two friends were soooooo fine

Da le a tu cuerpo alegria macarena … (2 times)

(I am not trying to seduce you)

Ma-, Ma-, Ma-, Ma-, Ma-, Ma-, Macarena …

Da le a tu cuerpo alegria macarena … (2 times)

Come and find me, my name is Macarena
I’m always at the party ’cause I think it’s cosa buena (?)
Come join me, dance with me
And all you fellas tag along with me

Da le a tu cuerpo alegria macarena … (5 times)