Madonna – Still Licking Things After All These Years

Acadia Einstein

When I first saw this picture I was all excited because I thought maybe Madonna’s spinal cord had snapped while she was singing “La Isla Bonita” but gamely tried to keep the show going.  Then I saw the crumpled up money and thought maybe she was bankrupt and some guy at a Waffle House gave her a fiver to lick a microphone he found on the ground.  But then I found out she wasn’t paralyzed or at Waffle House and did whatever that is she’s doing on purpose.

Then I allowed myself to think for 30 more seconds and realized that thousands of people in New York paid her money to do it.  Sort of makes me want Sandy to come back and punish them.  I can honestly and unapologetically say that I like TONS of Madonna songs.  But that’s as far as it goes.  I like Bob Dylan songs too but I would not pay money to watch him wheeze around the stage and mumble and lick things.

Just stop it, Madonna.  You are freaking me out.  You look like a big pile of ropes with David Letterman’s head on it.

I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in New York and Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Eight years and counting....


  1. Jen Li
    Jen LiReply
    November 15, 2012 at 1:18 am

    Madonna’s so OLD that when my Uncle was a G.I.; he watched her strip in an off base night-club in Port Huron. 1977. True story.

    • Acadia
      November 18, 2012 at 10:32 am

      That’s outstanding.

  2. catwiththumbs
    November 15, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    OMG – a BORG penis!

  3. Eva Halloween
    November 17, 2012 at 12:39 am

    You have to admit, she would make a quality Waffle House stripper and/or waitress.

  4. Скотник
    July 21, 2013 at 12:07 pm

    Старая ..

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