Oh Eric, you sneaky devil you.
I don’t even remember when you showed up on my radar exactly… was it something random like The Hulk? Or maybe Munich? I have no idea. But aren’t you just delightful?
Oh, what’s that? You’re just relaxing all casually in a gray t-shirt? Of course you are.
And aren’t you rather dapper here?
Oh, you’re married, that’s nice.
Actually, I think you are a sweet dad based on the photos I found of you paddle-boarding with your daughter but those don’t need to go here because it annoys me that people were harassing you on your vacation. But of note: you are looking pretty good, sir, in that bathing suit.
I don’t have anything else to add because it’s Monday and I’m tired but the point is just to ogle you so, you’re welcome.