When I got back to my fort today. Not that I live in a fort, but I do have a fort in my house. And it isn’t a shitty one with chairs and blankets like your sucky baby forts. But anyway, I looked in my email, and I had two (actually eight cause Maxwell seems to be a button hammerer) emails from some guy names Maxwell Mbavarire. They are the best emails I ever received, and I am hoping that Maxwell sends me some more.
Email the first:
Subj: GOD BLESS GOD BLESS
NICE PHOTOS,THANKS WITH THE NICE BEAUTYFUL SEXY PHOTOS,YOU SHOULD BE JUST BE MY WOMAN,I ENJOY WATCHING YOUR PHOTOS,I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU BABYLOVEMAX [ MISS UNION BOYFRIEND ]
Email the second:
Subj: GOD BLESS GOD BLESS
STILL MAX,I AM JUST LOOKIN AT YOUR PHOTOS,WHY DONT YOU JUST BE WOMAN,BE WIFE,LOTS OF NICE PHOTOS,GOD BLESSLOVEMAX
Sooooo, as you can see, Max thinks our contact page is a magic sex box. And I hope he keeps on sending these, cause I assume somehow if he ever finds me and saws me up, the FBI can catch him by tracing them. Or something. Shit, I may be screwed.
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I love insane people. Not enough to just be his woman; but enough to laugh at the poor deluded guy.
How do you know you’re not already his woman?
Dunh Dunh Dunnnnhhh!