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Microsoft Launches Bing. Yeah, I didn’t know either.

What?  The fucking thing is called BING?  You know anything else named bing?  Shut up.  Ass.

What? The fucking thing is called BING? You know anything else named Bing? Shut up. Ass.

I don’t know if you guys use the internet at all, but Microsoft released its brand new search engine today.  It’s called Bing, because apparently all the other short domains were taken.  If I had unlimited billions, I may have gone with, I don’t know, find.com or search.com or freeporn.com or something popular.  But they went with Bing so whatever.  But I want to point out some things:

  1. Use it to search for videos.  Make sure you start out searching for Jenna Jameson so you can turn off the “no porn” switch.  Once you get to some videos, you will freak out because they start playing when you mouse over them.  Well, I did anyway.  But mostly because my awesome Brooke Banner videos are startling anyway.
  2. The image search is the same as MSN’s was.  It is good.
  3. Regular search seems like it copies Google.  Search for “Sophie Simmons pics” and you will see us at the top of both.
  4. I don’t know why there are balloons on it.
  5. It is supposed to do all sorts of shit like tell you how much flights cost and other shit, but I have my own jet made out of gold and titties so that does not interest me.

What DOES interest me is how stupid the users of the engine are.  You all know how racist the people who use Google are, right?  Just start typing, “Why do black” or “Why do Asian” or something like that and see what comes up.  If you do that with Bing, nothing pops up.  Interesting that they seem to have gone out of their way to omit it.  Not like stereotype reinforcing Google!

But, in general, it seems like the people who use Bing are as dumb as the people who use Google.  These screen shots prove it:

Bing

The Internet does not know some of these things.

The Internet does not know some of these things.

Google

How would the goddamn Internet know about your eye, Twitchy?

How would the goddamn Internet know about your eye, Twitchy?

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.

1 Comment

  1. Joelle

    I think I will stick with Google.

    Reply

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