I don’t know what Campari is.  I looked on their website but it’s one of those sites that assume people already know what they sell so I’m just going to say Italian booze and soda.  The point of this post isn’t them anyway.  In addition to soda they also seem to make calendars and this year they have hired my fave apocalyptic model/actress Milla Jovovich.  Apparently there was a short break in her schedule between “Resident Evil” movies which allowed her to be made up to look like a monster and scare me.

The gimmick is that the world is supposed to end in 2012 so they dressed Milla up like all the ways civilization could get destroyed.  All the pictures scare me.  Why do they make women I think are hot look not hot and call it “art”?  If I was in charge of making a calendar with Milla Jovovich in it I would just make it easy and go for the classics.

  • January – Sexy Snowball Fight
  • February – Sexy Groundhog
  • March – Sexy but wearing a lot of layers because one doesn’t know what the temperature will be
  • April – Sexy raincoat and the little rubber boots.  You know the ones I mean.
  • May – Riding a motorcycle past a flower garden – sexily.
  • June – I don’t know…nothing happens in June.  Sexy baseball player?
  • July – Sexy fireworks outfit.
  • August – All sweaty and sexy, maybe fixing cars.  Most cars break down in the summer.
  • September.  Derh – School starts in September so she dresses up like sexy Crossing Guard!
  • October – Sexy Christoper Columbus
  • November – Sexy turkey, with those white things on her hands.
  • December – Sexy igloo

Feel free to try to top that.  Suckers!