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Mommy’s Report Card

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A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.
“Mommy”, the little girl asks, “how old are you?”
“Honey, you are  not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother replied. “It’s not  polite.”
“Okay”, the little girl says, “How much do you  weigh?”
“Now really,” the mother says, “those are personal questions  and are really none of your business.”
Undaunted, the little girl asks,  “Why did you and daddy get a divorce?”
“That is enough questions, young  lady, honestly!”

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
“My mom won’t tell me anything about her,” the little  girl says to her friend.
“Well,” says the friend, “all you need to do  is look at her drivers’ license. It is like a report card, it has everything on  it.”

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, “I know how old you are: you are 32.”
The mother is surprised and asks, “How did  you find that out?
“I also know that you weigh 140  pounds.”
The mother is past surprised and shocked now. “How in heaven’s name did you find that out?”
“And,” the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and Daddy got a  divorce.”
“Oh really?” the mother asks. “Why?”
“Because you got an F in  sex.”

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.
“Mommy”, the little girl asks, “how old are you?”
“Honey, you are  not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother
replied. “It’s not  polite.”
“Okay”, the little girl says, “How much do you  weigh?”
“Now really,” the mother says, “those are personal questions  and
are really none of your business.”
Undaunted, the little girl asks,  “Why did you and daddy get a divorce?”
“That is enough questions, young  lady, honestly!”

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
“My mom won’t tell me anything about her,” the little  girl says to her friend.
“Well,” says the friend, “all you need to do  is look at her drivers’ license. It is like a report card, it has everything on  it.”

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, “I know how old you are: you are 32.”
The mother is surprised and asks, “How did  you find that out?
“I also know that you weigh 140  pounds.”
The mother is past surprised and shocked now. “How in heaven’s name did you find that out?”
“And,” the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and Daddy got a  divorce.”
“Oh really?” the mother asks. “Why?”
“Because you got an F in  sex.”

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7 Comments

  1. Buggys

    That’s too cute! Very funny.

    Reply
  2. Tina T

    I love this one. I was totally not expecting the divorce reason, although I guess I should have seen it coming.

    Reply
  3. Laura-Whateverebay

    LOL – that is so cute… will pass it along 🙂

    Reply
  4. plin

    Thanks for sharing. It is very cute. I wonder whether M will be a lower score in a report card =P

    Reply
  5. Nehh

    Lol .. that was funny.. I was very curious to find how the divorce thing would turn out. Nice one.

    Reply
  6. Mom

    That last line is absolutely priceless. I love love love it.

    Reply

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