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Pats Win! I Ate Too Many Things!

Pats Win!  I Ate Too Many Things!

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We won.  I freaked out the whole time and when Kearse caught that ball I had decided that god didn’t want the Pats to win.  But in reality he just wanted me to be able to watch Richard Sherman’s sad sad face when Butler picked off that pass.

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sad-richard

Then the dumb penalty that got the Pats out of the end zone.  Then the dumber fight.  Then giving Tom Brady the MVP even though he threw two picks.  Then me realizing that at some point during the second half I ate four cheeseburgers and like, 400 wings that I COOKED!  I don’t remember cooking them.  Maybe I didn’t.  But in about an hour if I barf from poisoning myself and latent nerves I’ll know for sure.

Hey, come to think of it, why didn’t they let Edelman be the MVP?  TOO JEWISH, MAYBE?  Maybe NFL actually stands for Nazis For Life….

Oh, and hey:

  • Brady now owns the record for most Super Bowl TD Passes (12)
  • He is tied with Joe Montana for winning the most Super Bowl MVP’s (3)
  • Tied for winning the most Super Bowls with Montana and Bradshaw (4)
  • They won this one by FOUR!  That is a 33% improvement over their other three victories.
  • Their total victory margins = 13 points.  They lost their first by 36 points.

And what was up with Nationwide having a ghost in their commercial?  I mean, they played it like the kid was going to be nice and whatnot, but that kid could have grown up to join Isis.  Don’t mess with fate, Nationwide.  Let the dead rest.

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Oh, and screw you, NBC.  No way am I watching The Black List.

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.

1 Comment

  1. Sangfroid

    You had cheeseburgers and wings and didn’t invite me?

    Reply

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