That’s right – this was the very first (legally) All-American Podcast for us.  Every other one we had in America featured Melzer as a sneaky sneak who was sneaking into America repeatedly.  Now we have him as a smelly immigrant.  Now, on the plus side, I think legally now he has to do whatever I say.  But even though now he is my butler, I still feel it’s my duty to tell him some things he needs to do in order to be a good American.  Here’s the list (in no particular order).

  1. Watch Parks and Recreation (it’s on Netflix).
  2. Watch Community (I don’t know where it is).
  3. Read “Letters from a Nut” (It’s on Amazon).
  4. Get a driver’s license.
  5. Go across the Mississippi River (direction not important).
  6. Pick an NFL team and like them (I recommend the Buffalo Bills).
  7. Make fun of Canada. (they suck).
  8. Find a Five Guys and have a burger. (yum)
  9. Make a tire swing (probably save this one til last).
  10. Drop that snotty Canadian attitude. (seriously)!
  11. Do some butlering for me.
  12. Go listen to Dr. Nob’s dirty Farscape fan fiction as read by a Stephen Hawking  voice machine.

Welcome to America.  Get butlering!  And also a podcast.