One day in Canada, a polar bear was walking down the street to get some free health care and a “snooty attitude” booster shot when he met something he had never seen before! As he turned a corner he was lost in though, pondering about how spelling the word “check” with a Q was perhaps the most awesome thing ever, he ran smack into some American sled dogs.
The dogs were in Canada cause they were under the impression that all Canadian girl dogs were slutty and they wanted some action. But when they ran into the giant bear they got confused. This bear was the same color as everything else in Canada (white). American bears had the decency to be a different color than their backgrounds except for brown bears who hide in piles of leaves and black bears who hide in space or the backs of closets. But this Canadian bear was frigging humongous and hard to see and the dogs were skert.
The bear, baffled as to why these dogs were so much louder and more freedom-filled than Canadian dogs, smacked their leader on the noggin. But just as it seemed like there was going to be a big fight, a little something called: “love” happened. See, the giant Canadian bear was looking at the little American dog and thinking: I am so superior to this feisty, noisy thing. I can be friends with it and feel all superior.
At the same time, the American dog was looking at the giant Canadian polar bear and thinking: this big dummy can’t hurt anyone. If it is so tough, how come it needs camouflage? I can be friends with it and feel superior. So maybe it wasn’t love, but rather mutual patronization but whatever, they are still friends.
The pics proving that the polar bear and the dog were friends and hugged and kissed and stuff are after the jump (seriously). And I will also throw in the only polar bear joke I know!
How to Catch a Polar Bear:
First you chop a hole in the ice. Then you take a can of peas, open it up, and put them all around the hole. Then hide and wait. Then when the polar bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole!