Do not put wasps nests in your vagina.
Are you surprised that’s a thing? Because I kind of am. On the other hand, in a world where people apparently still use douches and also there are things like vagina-tightening surgery and labioplasty, I guess nothing surprises me. And yet, I feel compelled to tell you that you should not put ground-up wasp things inside your vagina.
Formed when a wasp lays eggs in a tree’s leaf buds so that the larva can develop inside, oak galls are being sold by online retailers – including Etsy – who claim that grounding [sic] them into a paste can help tighten the vagina and get rid of bad smells.
Canadian gynecologist Jen Gunter, whom I happen to follow on Twitter because she’s great, has what seems like a pretty obvious warning – but again, since people are actually doing this, here it is:
The Etsy retailer that Dr Gunter found selling the oak galls – Heritage Health Shop – claimed that they could improve sex lives and be used on cuts with a warning that the paste will hurt.
“Here’s a pro-tip, if something burns when you apply it to the vagina it is generally bad for the vagina,” Dr Gunter added.
Pro-tip – you don’t need to put anything in your vagina to “treat” any “conditions” unless your doctor tells you to. A real doctor, that is, you know – the kind with a medical degree?
Here is a quick summation of this from my Twitter feed this morning:
Don't park a Winnebago in your vag. Don't douche with Four Loco. Don't let pets sleep in there. So sad these things need to be said. https://t.co/UlWOseaOwQ
— Wait what (@MaryHartmanx2) June 1, 2017
4. Anyone in the Trump family
— Jamie Gump (@JamieGump) June 1, 2017
You’re welcome. Have a nice day.
…
I don’t even know where to go with this.
Same.
OK, however, what about the butt?
Also pretty sure this is not recommended.
That moment when you laugh at the notion of medieval women being banned from stepping over running water because they were “unclean” and then realize that same stupid shit is happening today.
Right!