Do not put wasps nests in your vagina.
Are you surprised that’s a thing? Because I kind of am. On the other hand, in a world where people apparently still use douches and also there are things like vagina-tightening surgery and labioplasty, I guess nothing surprises me. And yet, I feel compelled to tell you that you should not put ground-up wasp things inside your vagina.
Formed when a wasp lays eggs in a tree’s leaf buds so that the larva can develop inside, oak galls are being sold by online retailers – including Etsy – who claim that grounding [sic] them into a paste can help tighten the vagina and get rid of bad smells.
Canadian gynecologist Jen Gunter, whom I happen to follow on Twitter because she’s great, has what seems like a pretty obvious warning – but again, since people are actually doing this, here it is:
The Etsy retailer that Dr Gunter found selling the oak galls – Heritage Health Shop – claimed that they could improve sex lives and be used on cuts with a warning that the paste will hurt.
“Here’s a pro-tip, if something burns when you apply it to the vagina it is generally bad for the vagina,” Dr Gunter added.
Pro-tip – you don’t need to put anything in your vagina to “treat” any “conditions” unless your doctor tells you to. A real doctor, that is, you know – the kind with a medical degree?
Here is a quick summation of this from my Twitter feed this morning:
Don't park a Winnebago in your vag. Don't douche with Four Loco. Don't let pets sleep in there. So sad these things need to be said. https://t.co/UlWOseaOwQ
— Wait what (@MaryHartmanx2) June 1, 2017
4. Anyone in the Trump family
— Jamie Gump (@JamieGump) June 1, 2017
You’re welcome. Have a nice day.