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Real Time Mockery – Carny

Remember La Bamba?  Cause I remember it.  That was a long time ago.  Crap.

Remember La Bamba? Cause I remember it. That was a long time ago. Crap.

Tonight you have the opportunity to make fun of a Sci-Fi original movie as it happens!  Tonight at 9 Eastern, we will be watching: ‘Carny’.  According to the Sci-Fi site:

Death Becomes the main attraction when a traveling carnival brings a genuine New Jersey Devil to a small town.

And if I know Sci Fi – they are soooo not talking about a hockey player.  And we get to watch Lou Diamond Phillips pay the bills.  Poor bastard.  Anyway – if you are watching, post your comments on the show here.  This is real time mockery.

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.

109 Comments

  1. Joelle

    Omg, cannot wait.

    Reply
  2. Acadia

    only seven minutes to go!

    Reply
  3. Joelle

    OKAY, it’s on!

    This movie cannot be any worse than the last one.

    Reply
  4. Acadia

    damn! killing already!

    Reply
  5. Joelle

    Oh man, wtf.

    Reply
  6. Joelle

    Naturally Lou Diamond Phillips is playing the sheriff.

    Reply
  7. Acadia

    He sure is suave. Like, almost supernaturally suave.

    Reply
  8. Joelle

    Scifi specializes in boring dumpy little towns don’t they?

    Reply
  9. Acadia

    I used to live in NJ and it is beautiful! But they don’t allow awesome freak filled carnivals like this anymore 🙁

    Reply
  10. Joelle

    I wonder if any carny gets laid on the regular?

    Reply
  11. Joelle

    WHAT THE FUCK AT THE WHO HEADED GUY?

    Reply
  12. Joelle

    @Acadia – ah, the good ole’ days.

    Reply
  13. Acadia

    Originally Posted By Joelle
    WHAT THE FUCK AT THE WHO HEADED GUY?

    he didnt have two heads, he just had two faces – you bigot

    Also – the red head is sort of hot.

    Reply
  14. Joelle

    Finally, normal people!

    Reply
  15. Acadia

    I dig the fortune teller with a cold. And I guess her hair isn’t red…

    Reply
  16. Joelle

    When are we going to get to see it!

    Reply
  17. Acadia

    i dont get the church sub-plot – are they gonna fight the devil? who is this kid and whats with the shack with the red door?

    Reply
  18. Joelle

    The ginger has a serious case of buck teeth.

    Reply
  19. Joelle

    Originally Posted By Acadiai dont get the church sub-plot – are they gonna fight the devil? who is this kid and whats with the shack with the red door?

    Didn’t you hear? The carnival is doing the devils work!

    It’s their job to combat the forces of evil.

    Reply
  20. Acadia

    wait – i thought they were IN Jersey! why is he calling jersey?

    wtf

    Reply
  21. Debbie Lane

    I am from Jersey and I thought the Jersey Devil was my 7th grade English teacher!

    Reply
  22. Joelle

    and if the guy is only a pastor, why is he wearing a priests collar?

    Reply
  23. Joelle

    Originally Posted By Acadiawait – i thought they were IN Jersey! why is he calling jersey?

    wtf

    Wait, this doesn’t take place in NJ? Didn’t the guy say something about jersey plates on that abandoned car?

    Reply
  24. Acadia

    Originally Posted By Debbie Lane
    I am from Jersey and I thought the Jersey Devil was my 7th grade English teacher!

    so you know – the carnival came to town and they have a monster and someone got murdered in the beginning and the pastor is pissed off and the carnival starts tonight!

    Reply
  25. Joelle

    Debbie Lane, shits about to go down!

    Reply
  26. Acadia

    LOL! “he paid for it with his eye!”

    Reply
  27. Joelle

    OMG

    Reply
  28. Debbie Lane

    I hate ferris wheels, from the Jersey shore!

    Reply
  29. Acadia

    well now that it’s loose – what are the gonna do for another 90 minutes? Chase it?

    Reply
  30. Joelle

    THE TWO HEADED GUY JUST CONFIRMED HE HAS TWO HEADS.

    “Owwww… my two heads D:”

    HA!

    Reply
  31. Joelle

    Lol @ the pastor thinking he has “power” over the sheriff.

    Bitch, you ain’t the boss!

    Reply
  32. Acadia

    Why would he shut down the carnival after the thing is loose? That makes no sense.

    Reply
  33. Acadia

    the hot FT was shacked up with the boss? WTF

    could she not SEE what was gonna happen before she got with him?

    Reply
  34. Joelle

    What is the vision ladies accent?

    Reply
  35. Joelle

    The ginger and the pastors kid are gonna die by the end. I can feel it.

    Reply
  36. Acadia

    Fortune…Tellery

    holy shit a foot!

    Reply
  37. Joelle

    YES RUN INTO AN OPEN FUCKING FIELD.

    Haven’t they seen enough horror movies to know not to do that!

    Reply
  38. Acadia

    hiding in that car was a good plan – the Jersey Devil is not as big as the Loch Ness Monster

    Reply
  39. Joelle

    The jersey devil must fly on air current because I haven’t seen it flap it’s wings yet.

    Reply
  40. Joelle

    Originally Posted By Acadiahiding in that car was a good plan – the Jersey Devil is not as big as the Loch Ness Monster

    Lol, at least the kid didn’t lose his keys.

    Reply
  41. Acadia

    yeah but it looks way better than the LNM did. It actually looks kind of good.

    Reply
  42. Acadia

    breathing in that steam will make the FT’s nose less red. good thinking

    Reply
  43. Debbie Lane

    she sees dead people

    Reply
  44. Acadia

    Why is Famke Janssesn in a Sci Fi movie? I thought she was legit…

    Reply
  45. Debbie Lane

    it looked like she was dropping Clonodine pills into the cauldron

    Reply
  46. Acadia

    @Debbie Lane – It has been prescribed historically as an antihypertensive agent. It has found new uses, including treatment of some types of neuropathic pain, opioid detoxification, sleep hyperhidrosis, anaesthetic use, and off-label, to counter the side effects of stimulant medications such as methylphenidate or amphetamine. It is becoming a more accepted treatment for insomnia, as well as for relief of menopausal symptoms.

    Reply
  47. Joelle

    Aww I just want to hug ginger and tell him everything will be ok <3

    Reply
  48. Debbie Lane

    so I should take it or just drink from the cauldron?

    Reply
  49. Acadia

    that kid got ripped up inder the old rickety bridge. LDP is on the job, though

    Reply
  50. Joelle

    Maybe the pastors kid wouldn’t have been so rebellious if his father had given him some freedom…

    Reply
  51. Acadia

    i would throw the pastor’s ass in jail!

    Reply
  52. Joelle

    He’s just a troublemaker!

    Reply
  53. Acadia

    see – now he is on a vendetta against the carnies – and now i can get a snack – yay commercials!

    Reply
  54. Acadia

    the deputy is sooo dead

    Reply
  55. Joelle

    Why the fuck was this guy killed for again?

    Reply
  56. Acadia

    i thnk he was the dude who gave the carnies the devil in the beginning?

    Reply
  57. Joelle

    Ohh yeah.

    Reply
  58. Joelle

    OMG.

    :/

    Reply
  59. Acadia

    BETTY SHOT

    Ginger and his mom!

    Reply
  60. Acadia

    how come the townies are always flannel clad?

    Reply
  61. Joelle

    They are all hicks!

    Reply
  62. Debbie Lane

    low budget on wardrobe

    Reply
  63. Acadia

    poor deputy mustache 🙁

    Reply
  64. Joelle

    You would think his mustache would protect him :/

    Reply
  65. Joelle

    Oh man that is cold.

    MORE BLOOD.

    Reply
  66. Acadia

    the carnies are no longer interested in subtlety

    Reply
  67. Joelle

    Holy fuck!

    Reply
  68. Acadia

    wtf – her head!

    Reply
  69. Joelle

    Half her face and neck is torn off!

    and why is the guy sad? Because a carny died? He didn’t seem all that sad when he had his one eyed dude kill the deputy.

    Reply
  70. Acadia

    The carnys’ are a family. Deputy mustache just didn’t fit in.

    Reply
  71. Acadia

    His name is Sheriff Atlas? Atlas?

    Reply
  72. Acadia

    OK – so much for the carnies being a family. Poor eye patch.

    Reply
  73. Joelle

    :/

    I thought carnies stuck together.

    Can the old carnie just die already?

    Reply
  74. Acadia

    he didnt get to be the boss of the carnival by being a slouch!

    Reply
  75. Joelle

    Is he just now realizing he fucking killed his only friend and it didn’t even work?

    Reply
  76. Acadia

    See,now the JD is knocked out – King Carny is holding all the cards, and Sheriff Atlas is gonna have to hump through the woods looking for everyone

    Reply
  77. Joelle

    BETTY SHOT

    Reply
  78. Acadia

    The pastor is gonna BETTY SHOT King Carny

    Reply
  79. Acadia

    wtf – this is some violent shit

    Reply
  80. Joelle

    Oh my fucking god.

    I just dry heaved.

    Reply
  81. Joelle

    The pastor is playing God!

    Reply
  82. Acadia

    KING CARNY GETS WHAT HE DESERVES

    the pastor gets away with the tongue shopping!

    Reply
  83. Acadia

    the pastor sucks at shooting guns

    Reply
  84. Joelle

    Ugh, fuck the pastor.

    He is not better than the King Carny.

    Reply
  85. Joelle

    This is some straight up bullshit.

    The pastor is crazy. God’s messenger my ass.

    Reply
  86. Joelle

    Bunch of crazy fundamentalists.

    Reply
  87. Acadia

    the townies had gas ready! they were just waiting for the word from the pastor

    Reply
  88. Joelle

    OH MY GOD I HATE WHEN PEOPLE BURN ALIVE.

    Reply
  89. Acadia

    LDP better get the fuck up and save the town from the toothless grunge brigade and Pastor Looney Tunes!

    Reply
  90. Acadia

    JD is awake and mad – the Pastor is gonna get eaten.

    Reply
  91. Joelle

    FINALLY, the pastor gets what he deserves.

    Reply
  92. Acadia

    the Sheriff is groggy and packin a shotgun

    Reply
  93. Acadia

    OK – so the Sheriff has to save the fortune teller, but he had no time to build up some sexy with her cause she spent all her time in the trailer while he was bumbling around in the woods – they should have had her go on a date with her at the beginning, like, the first night of the carnival. They need to ask me some shit before they write these things.

    Reply
  94. Joelle

    I think interns write these things.

    Reply
  95. Acadia

    poor two face/head

    Reply
  96. Joelle

    Oh lovely.

    Reply
  97. Acadia

    death by ferris wheel! The writers just won me back.

    Reply
  98. Joelle

    Oh shit, it’s over!

    Reply
  99. Acadia

    Well, i didnt expect LDP to die. They had some twists. This was a good time. Thanks Joelle and Debbie!

    Reply
  100. sixmats

    Did someone say chalupa?

    Reply
  101. sixmats

    Ah man, I always show up late.

    Reply
  102. Maitland

    FREE CHALUPA?

    Reply
  103. Nick

    First

    Reply
  104. vettech

    Sorry I missed this. It seemed like fun, hope you do it again.

    Reply

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