Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds split up. Yawn.
Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds have separated.
I thought about this and tried to figure out how to deal with the tragedy and I finally came to the conclusion that fuck them. I can’t feel sorry for them. I really can’t. I know that heartbreak is heartbreak but seriously fuck them. What are they stuck with now? They need to find the SECOND hottest people on the planet to be married to? They need to sneer at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (click here for her NSFW Butt)? They need to keep making super hero movies even though THEY ALREADY LOOK LIKE FUCKING SUPER HEROES?
I had a bunch of other really funny shit to say about this but then I got a shitty phone call and am in a bad mood now so make up your own jokes. Damn those people are hot.