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SHADDAP About Casting Batman! It's Too Soon!

Think about how many people you would have thought were better in '89.  Then try to think of someone else playing him.   Can't, can you?

Think about how many people you would have thought were better in ’89. Then try to think of someone else playing him. Can’t, can you?

According to the Hollywood Reporter there are some whacked out unsubstantiated rumors as to who the Batman is going to be in the movie featuring Batman and Superman that was announced at SDCC this year.  Supposedly they want a late 30’s / early 40’s Batman a-la The Dark Knight Returns and supposedly Josh Brolin is being considered.

What?

Don’t get me wrong.  I love TDKR as much as the next nerd.   But I do NOT want the franchise of a lifetime wasted on an old-ass Batman.  Seriously.  I know you are all thinking of this picture:

ZOMG - PUNCH-O!

ZOMG – PUNCH-O!

But if you want that, you also have to get Batman as Randy from A Christmas Story.

snow

I can’t put my arms down!

So forget old man Josh Brolin.  And forget the dude from True Blood (the ripped up werewolf guy) but do NOT forget Ryan Gosling.

Ryan Gosling.  Hmm.  I would not think it would work.  But Michael Keaton worked.  Didn’t he?  Am I just fooling myself because it came out when I was so young?

So maybe the Gos would be a good Batman.  Because Batman needs to be like, 30 in this new movie.  Tops.  Maybe 32.  Why?  Because he has to have been around long enough to have something to teach Superman, but not so old that he is going to have to huff and puff his way up a damn rope.  And they can’t hamstring the franchise by using an older Batman.  What will the next movie be?  He gets a clonoscopy?  THINK, people!

Unless they want to make it like The Golden Girls and have all the super heroes be old.  Flash could run really fast to the bathroom 15 times a night (help him, Joe Theissman!)  Green Lantern could use his ring to get him in and out of a car.  Yeah.  That’s good movie making right there.  Idiots.

I will consider Ryan Gosling.  I would also consider your picks if you put them in the comments.  But no older actors.  40 is not old, but it is too old for this character for this universe.  So don’t blow it, Warner Brothers.  I swear to you there WILL be repercussions if you do.

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.

5 Comments

  1. Raven Partida

    Lol… there will always be another batman/superman movie. For once make it not in a city but small town or something. It causes 2 much money to repair the damages they cause. I know just a movie set but just saying 🙂

    Reply
    • Acadia

      Fair enough. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Don Quikaung

    Frankly I am hoping they continue with the Nightwing/new Batman that was alluded to at the end of TDKR and I would like, for nothing else than consistency, Joseph Gordon Levitt to be that guy.

    Reply
    • Acadia

      I heard they said that they weren’t in the same universe, but it is a good idea.

      Reply
  3. Eva Halloween

    Baby Goose is not Batman. No.

    Also, what did poor Joe Manganiello ever do to you? He’s not old!

    Reply

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