DC_Versus_Marvel_1So I am excited to show you the new sort-of trailer for Spider-Man.  I am not sure why Stan Lee is in it except that I guess Marvel Films has to trot his skinny bones out in front of a camera once every 4 days or he will take away all of their characters or something.

But when you watch it, you will see some pretty good looks of Spidey and the villain Jamie Foxx plays.  I think he is “Electric Powder”.  I personally think that Black Powder would be an awesome name but they didn’t call me.  But whatever his name, he looks pretty cool.

And there is a quick shot of the Rhino who is apparently a robot?   Or in a suit?  That seems lame.  When I was wicked little I had a book and record of The Hulk fighting The Rhino and The Abomination and I am pretty sure that the Rhino was a monster.  But what do I know.  And do they have book and records anymore or do the books just talk?

Aaaaaanyway, here is a list of why I don’t understand Marvel (and the whole “Marvel movies are better than DC Movies” thing, too).  It is probably not comprehensive and I am just waiting for a bunch of people to tell me I am a big idiot and explain it all.  But hey.  I want knowledge.  Even if it is hurled at me by an angry fan.  So let’s go!

  1. Why do Marvel fans keep telling Warner Brothers how to make super hero movies?  I mean, sure, the way they did the little Avengers things in the end of the other movies was neat.  But Warner Brother makes other kinds of movies, too, don’t they?  I am not too sure how movie studios work but I am pretty sure that if you had a choice of where to buy ice cream from, you would choose Ben and Jerry’s over Samsung.  No?  Now that is not an excuse for making terrible movies like Green Lantern, but if you have a whole company full of people all trying to make one universe come together then you have a pretty good head start.  So note to Warner Brothers: stop making movies other than comic book ones.  And more Ghost Rider!
  2. Why do Marvel people talk about the “realism”?  Because they use New York instead of Metropolis or Gotham City?  That’s realism?  I mean, it is smart because they don’t need to invent new cities and buildings but I don’t think it is all that realistic.  And here is where my relative ignorance of Marvel comes in.
  3. Why didn’t Spider-Man help the Avengers?  He lives in NY, right?  Was he busy?  Would Nick Fury not have thought having Spidey on the squad would help?  And what about the X-Men?  They were all in Westchester, no?  Was it spring break?
  4. Who cares WHY?  Marvel seems to have this big thing about the backstory of their characters.  How complex and human they are.  Poor Iron Man the drunk.  Poor Spider-Man the disaffected teen who accidentally caused his uncle’s death.  Poor surly Wolverine.  Why can’t they be more like DC?  Who are the three biggest heroes in DC world?  Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman.  And what are their problems?  Dead parents, dead parents and no parents.  I don’t care if Ice Man wants to go on a date.  Just fight someone.  Jeez.  If you took ALL the Marvel characters and killed their parents (including you, Aunt Mae) then they would stop whining a lot and get to fighting.

Also, are there any Marvel people in L.A.?  That doesn’t seem fair.  Oh, and here’s the video I referred to.  I almost forgot about it.