After all the nonsense surrounding Batman V Superman it was nice to see Disney drop a teaser for Star Wars: Rogue One to give everyone something else to compare Zack Snyder’s DC movie unfavorably to.  Let’s take a look.

I think it is a fun trailer and my gah am I now in love with Felicity Jones!  She looks like a young Mimi Rogers without having to marry Tom Cruise.  And the trailer also shows how comparing these movies to anything else we know is unfair.  And I will use wrestling terms, since wrestling understands entertainment better than anyone, even if they suck at it a lot.

Mark:  A fan who wants to believe.

Mark out:  React to things according to the way the script intends.

Get Someone Over: Use someone else’s storyline to make another character more popular.  Over means popular.

Push:  Attempting to force someone into popularity.

We are all marks for Star Wars.  Anyone who wants to tell me otherwise can step right up, but the weird world that has space ships, blue milk and regular trash compactors fascinates us and it always will.  So let’s just accept that.  The great majority of us WANT to love this movie so all this trailer needs for a push is to get across the fact that it is from old Star Wars.

In a galaxy without email (or at least with pretty restrictive attachment policies) the rebels need to go filch the plans for the Death Star.

The Death Star.

AMERICAN DAD: When Stan takes a job as a meter maid and the power and privilege quickly go to his head, Turlington (Forest Whitaker) from Parking Internal Affairs pays him a visit and he realizes crime doesn't pay in the "Meter Made" episode of AMERICAN DAD Sunday, Oct. 7 (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.  AMERICAN DAD ª and © 2007TCFFC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.The thing that is going to get this movie over is the Death Star.  And Disney knows it.  Does it have officer Turlington from American Dad?  Yes, but I don’t know if he is a good guy or a bad guy.

In fact, while I need to watch it a couple of more times, I think it’s fun that the only character I recognized was the boss lady of the rebellion who was a pretty bit part in the original movies.

So we have a trailer that shows us things that we mark out for because omg X-Wing!  We have the movie being put over by the fact that it stars the Death Star and we know that we are going to get a steady push for the next six months that will completely work.

This is a story about how the floppy disk that the Star Wars franchise is based on was procured.  And it will be huge.  Now I want more tangent stories.

  • Why did that guy in Mos Eisley have the death sentence in twelve systems?
  • Why Yavin?
  • What does Alderaan look like?
  • Ben Kenobi: A hermit’s life.

Oh my gah they will extract every penny we have and we will give them willingly.