Earlier this year, macroglossic media mainstay Miley Cyrus was voted #1 in Maxim’s 2013 Hot 100 list, thanks in no small part to a fetish for showing off her freakishly large tongue. However, Miley is afraid that you might not have seen it yet. At least, that’s what I took away from her new video, where she makes sure you know she has both a tongue AND an ass (and, apparently, access to autotune), all of which are prominently featured. I will consider it self defense if you turn your speakers off before you hit play.
More Miley Cyrus tongue…
Two things struck me (besides her tongue) when I watched this.
1. It is extremely unhygienic to eat money. Hooker ass sweat and blow can not be good for a digestive system.
2. If this trend continues, it won’t be long before she does porn. *Crosses fingers*
I spent like, two minutes trying to think of a good porn name for her and I got nothing.
Too bad “Cyrus the Virus” is already taken.
My plan is working perfectly.
You just have plans because you know I don’t have any. One-upper!
The whole thing comes off so contrived. Like an uncool kid trying desperately to be liked.
I want to know why she keeps sticking it out to the site instead of straight out. Did she have a stroke?
I would wager she’s had more than one.
She’s totes edgy.
I can’t even. I mean. What?
I would weep for our youth, but I don’t actually care enough.
So Hawt 🙂
#forgetthehaters